Friday, October 21, 2011

An Exercise in Letting Go--Part Two

My mother is in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sophie is helping her. I am sitting in the living room fighting the urge to go in there and "supervise." Ruanita is sitting on the living room floor wrapping my nephew's birthday presents. Tomorrow is Sullivan's second birthday party. Ruanita and the kids went to Target today while I was at work and bought his presents. Normally, I buy all present. I wrap all presents. I cook dinner. But not today. I am actively practicing my new mantra.

Let it go.

If I were wrapping those presents, they would be in boxes. There would be right angles. Lots of right angles. The paper would be neatly creased. The stripes on the wrapping paper would line up perfectly. The bows would be centered. Ruanita says, "It's for a two-year-old. He's just going to rip it." She's right. Of course she's right. Sullivan will not care in the least what the wrapping looks like. But I do.

Let it go.

My mom is letting Sophie crack eggs. I never let Sophie crack eggs. As I type this, she cracks one right onto the kitchen floor where the dog quickly attempts to lick it up. That's why I never let Sophie crack the eggs.

Let it go.

Ruanita did a wonderful job of picking out Sully's presents. And my mom raised four children--she can most certainly cook a dinner. It's actually nice to NOT have to cook dinner for once. So why do I feel so conflicted? Why do I feel like I am losing my place in this house? My place in this world. Ruanita bought presents. Ruanita wrapped presents.

I went to work.

Let it go.....


Madgew said...

LET IT GO I say screaming. Enjoy the ride.

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