Sunday, October 23, 2011

A Self-Involved Blog

I am incapable of writing these days. Stories that used to flow out of me are simply not there anymore. It's been a tough two weeks at my new job. Not that the job is incredibly tough. It's just a lot of information to learn and, being a bit of a perfectionist, I do not do well with the new new job “learning curve.” I want to know everything. I want to be an expert. Right now. So I have been cramming. Trying to retain every bit of information I am given. As a result, there is little room left in my tiny brain for creative thinking. So writing has been difficult, at best. Impossible, at worst.

Since I am not really capable of putting together a story right now, I thought I would regale you with one of my lazy lists. You know...the lists I create when I am not in the mood to write but fear that you will all go find a better blog to read if I don't post something. So...here it is. Another lazy list. This time, it is not only a lazy list, it is a self-involved list. This is a list of things that you may not know about....ME! That's right. Not only am I uncreative, I am also self-involved. Feel free to go find a more interesting blog to read. I won't hold it against you. I promise. In the meantime, below is a list of factoids about little old me that you, my loyal (I hope) readers may not know. Maybe you can relate? Maybe not. Here goes.....

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die. I love that my family doesn't camp. I spend way too much time on Pinterest. I always tip 20% and I judge people by how they treat waiters and waitresses. When I am home alone, every noise I hear is a a serial killer. Target is my happy place. When I was a kid, I was convinced that Barbara Mandrell put me up for adoption and was going to come get me and take me home to Nashville one day. I'm still waiting. I love my family more than anything on this Earth. People think that I am quiet because I am shy, but really I have been judging them from afar and have determined that they are all crazier than shit. Christmas is my favorite day (actually, my favorite month) of the year. I love nothing more than Christmas cards, Christmas trees, Christmas decorations, Christmas carols, Christmas treats, and Christmas presents. What I love the most about my home is who I share it with. Given the option, I could easily spend an entire day doing nothing more than converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. I am entirely too competitive for my own good. It is the thing about me that drives Ruanita the craziest. I would be willing to have another baby if Ruanita was up for it. Baking is my therapy. I am an optimist at heart. I don't really care all that much for chocolate, but could eat my weight in potato chips. I am a total nerd. I could watch Nova for hours on end. I am a grammar Nazi. I wish my life were a musical. I love musicals. I believe Diet Pepsi is humankind's greatest creation. I don't have an athletic bone in my body, but I love, love, love college basketball. I am extremely proud of my southern roots, despite never wanting to live there ever again. On the rare occasion (like right now) when my daughter falls asleep on me, I will sit still for hours just listening to her breathe. I think entirely too much. I believe that good manners are not optional. I believe everything happens for a reason. Perhaps this is naïve and simplistic thinking, but I believe it anyway. The Sound of Music is my favorite movie of all time. I am not really a religious person, but I recite Catholic prayers over and over again when I can't fall asleep at night. I am kind of a hotel snob. I can no longer eat the food I grew up on. My 39-year-old intestinal tract can not handle my mother's fried chicken and fried cornbread and fried potatoes. I don't like seafood. It all tastes too....um....fishy. Yoga gives me a headache. I buy my children clothes at Goodwill. Despite being 100% lesbian, I like to watch mens' rugby. I am a morning person. I have a hard time staying awake after 9:00pm. I used to consider myself a pretty good writer. Now, I think you would all agree, it's debatable.

3 comments:

Madgew said...

Love you Shannon and don't worry. I will follow you forever.

Madgew said...

I love your lists and might do one myself.

Just Margaret said...

I am the same way when I start a new job--I *hate* not knowing everything I need to know right out of the gate. Hang in there...and I love your list! I should do something like that myself :)

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