Evil Kitty

I am beginning to believe that the cat we adopted from the Human Society, our dear sweet Molly, is not your everyday run-of-the-mill cat. I have reason to believe that she possesses powers beyond that of a mere mortal feline. I believe that she has the uncanny ability to tell time. That’s right, folks. She either has the intellectual capacity to read a clock face or she has a finely tuned internal clock that is set to Central Standard Time. Every morning, at the precise moment that my clock reads 5:00 AM, Molly will hop up on my nightstand, climb across to my pillow, and being nipping at my head. She bites my head every single morning. At exactly 5:00! Not 4:59. Not 5:01. Precisely 5:00. This is her rather delicate way of requesting her breakfast. The problem with this is that my alarm clock goes off at 5:30. Therefore, I have no desire to wake up at 5:00. I have started getting out of bed and locking her out of my bedroom when she starts biting my head. Of course, once I assume a vertical position, I am unable to lie back down and fall immediately to sleep. I toss and turn for half an hour, turn off my alarm when it goes off at 5:30, inevitably fall back to sleep at 5:35, and end up oversleeping. It is a rather vicious cycle. I would like to lock Molly out of my bedroom for the entire night. However, that will not work because Sophie comes to our bed at some time during the night every single night. If she climbed the stairs in the dark, half-asleep at 2:00 AM, only to find that our bedroom door was shut, I am afraid she would freak out. Given the option, I would rather be awakened to cat teeth in my skull than Sophie wailing outside my bedroom door. Just a personal preference. So it appears that I am stuck. That is, unless any of you are interested in a gently-used, moderately overweight, highly intelligent, ever so slightly evil cat?