Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tag Team

There are many things that are both amazing and bewildering about having three children. One of the things that rather took me by surprise was the way in which each child seems to have a designated day to drive me insane. Luckily, they rarely seem to gang up on me. In the spirit of brotherhood (or sisterhood, as it were), they seem to take turns being complete urchins. This means...rather than having a day that completely puts me over the edge of sanity, causing me to snap and commit unthinkable crimes against the fruits of my womb (and Ruanita's womb)...I get a steady consistent stream of lunacy. It's a lower dose, but a substantial dose.

Today was Nicholas' day. From the moment I got home from work this afternoon, Nicholas was in prime form. I walked through the front door to find that the kids were all three still wearing their pajamas. The plan for the afternoon was to head to my mom's house to hang out. Sophie and Lucas got themselves dressed with little difficulty. Nicholas, on the other hand, refused to put on the shorts I had grabbed out of his drawer. The shorts were super cute little blue shorts with a drawstring. Since birth, Nicholas has been offended to his very core by drawstrings. I knew this, but was not thinking straight in my rush to dress the kids. I was exhausted and really did not want to walk back to his bedroom to get another pair of shorts. I tried to convince him to wear them by telling him he could take them off as soon as we got home. Nicholas, however, refused. After several frustrating minutes of searching through his drawer for the exact pair of shorts that would satisfy Nicholas, he was dressed and ready to go. We piled into the minivan and drove to Eagan to my mom's house. As we pulled into the parking lot of her condo complex, Nicholas suddenly burst into tears. It seems that he had forgotten the costume catalog he had been carrying around with him since it arrived in the mail yesterday. He wanted me to drive all the way back to Minneapolis to get his beloved catalog. Since that was profoundly stupid, I refused. Nicholas then refused to get out of the car. I had already turned the car off and ushered the other kids out. Due to the unbearable humidity we've been experiencing this week, the temperature in the van climbed sky high within seconds of turning the air conditioner off. Nicholas climbed from his seat in the middle of the minivan to the back and then to the front passenger seat, trying to avoid me. His skinny little body could climb all over every inch of the van without developing so much as a single bead of perspiration. I, on the other hand, was dripping with sweat by the time I finally pried him, kicking and screaming from the van and carried him to the door. My mom was able to console him with brownies and ice cream. He behaved fairly well at my mom's house, despite coloring all over his face with a blue magic marker and using my mom's carpet as his second canvas of choice. On our way home, I stopped and picked up Happy Meals for the kids from McDonalds. I made the mistake of handing out their toys in the van. Of course, the boys couldn't get the same toy. They had to get two different toys...thank you very much them prime opportunity and motive for a good throw-down. Nicholas got a Silver Surfer action figure. Lucas got Captain America. Lucas asked Nicholas to trade with him, to which he happily agreed...initially. As we were nearing home though...a few short blocks away from freedom...Nicholas decided that he he did not want to trade after all. Let's just say that the fight ended quite ugly. A couple of super heroes were hurled around the minivan, barely missing the back of my head. In the end, Nicholas ended up with both toys, as Lucas refused to have anything to do with either one....or with Nicholas, for that matter. Finally, to my absolute exhilaration, bedtime rolled around. Nicholas refused to brush his teeth, I can't even remember the reason for his protest. However, I had to threaten to take his precious Wii away to get him to open his mouth and let me insert his toothbrush. Even then, he opened it just barely wide enough for me to wedge the toothbrush in. At that point, I couldn't have cared less if every tooth in his head rotted and fell out. However, I did the obligatory--although greatly abbreviated--tooth brushing and shuffled his troublesome little hiney off to bed.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am sure Nicholas will be better behaved after a good night's sleep. Unfortunately for me, I am certain one of the other two will take over as tormentor of the day. The great sibling tag-team squad. Nicholas will tag out and one of the other two will enter the ring. Hmmm...I wonder who it will be this time?


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