A dolt. A dullard. A dunce.

It's official. I'm an idiot. That's right...a dolt. A dullard. A dunce (sorry...I am a bit addicted to alliteration). My idiocy may not come as a shock to many of you. As I wrote about yesterday, I had no business running on the treadmill the other day. Of course, as I should have anticipated (and would have anticipated if it were not for my aforementioned status as a complete and total imbecile), I have re-injured my foot. As we speak, my foot is incredibly swollen and painful. Weight-bearing is excruciating. The pain is to the point that I actually dragged that heinous air cast from the dark recesses of my closet and I am wearing it again. Unfortunately, even immobilizing my foot is not controlling the pain. It throbs even in a completely immobile state. Yep, folks...I messed up. Big time.

I woke up this morning and immediately took four Ibuprofen. I thought that would control the inflammation to the point that I could walk. Sitting around with my foot propped up all day today simply was not an option. I had to work from 9:00 until 12:00. Then I have to take my son to pick out his new eyeglasses and get his hair cut. School starts on Monday and we simply aren't yet prepared. So I was hoping four Ibuprofen would do the trick. Unfortunately, even 800mg did not even touch the pain. I am afraid Ibuoprofen simply isn't going to do the trick. I have in my possession four Oxycodone pills that my sister gave to me recently. She had them leftover from a serious bout with multiple kidney stones. I thought last week that I may be developing a kidney stone, so my sister gave me the pills. Either I passed the stone relatively easily, or it was not a kidney stone at all. Regardless, I now have this Oxycodone that I never took and have been carrying around in a little Ziploc baggie in my bag for a week now. I am typically not a drug-taker. I prefer to just whine about pain rather than actually taking medication to ease it. I do not like that drug-induced stupor that comes with pain medication. I do not enjoy that dry-mouthed, fatigued, depleted feeling. However, I think I am going to make an exception in this case. You would think something as small and seemingly insignificant as a toe would not be capable of creating pain of this intensity. However, you would be wrong. So that's right, folks, I am turning to Oxycodone to ease my affliction. In my current state of misery, I am hearkening back to my Kentucky roots. I am trafficking in Hillbilly Heroin. Come on Oxycodone...don't fail me now!