Friday, August 27, 2010

A new lease on life....hurts like hell!

I am feeling like death this morning. I think the autumn allergy season is arriving a bit early in Minnesota this year. I haven't checked on the pollen count, but my head is telling me it is definitely elevated. I slept with my bedroom windows open last night and awoke with the headache from hell this morning. Simply keeping my eyes open right now is painful. I would sit here at my desk with my eyes closed, but I suspect that would arouse suspicion and some unwanted attention. So here I sit...eyes open.

In addition to the headache from Hades, I have a piercing pain in the toes on my left foot and a troublesome ache in my knees. My sister convinced me, in a moment of weakness, to do the unthinkable last night. I actually ran on the treadmill. Running? Me? Ludicrous. I really have no business running. If I were a sane rational person, I would conclude that there is no reason for me to run, short of someone chasing me with a butcher knife. I am about 40 pounds overweight. I have boobs that could mortally wound someone if they were allowed to bounce around free of restraint. I have bad family keeps the orthopedic surgeons in business. I just last week got out of a walking cast after having to rest my foot for two weeks due to a particularly bad inflammation in the joints of my left foot. And I am one month shy of my 38th birthday...if I was not a runner in my teens and 20s, why would I take it up now? Someone explain to me then, why in the hell was I running on the treadmill last night?! Given my vital statistics (as outlined above), I should be a slug. I should give into my couch-potato tendencies and lay around eating chocolate bon-bons (actually, I am not a huge fan of about Sugar Babies?) and growing larger by the day. I certainly have an array of excuses I could lean on if questioned about my sedentary ways. And if I had laid on the couch playing online Scrabble and eating Sugar Babies last night, I would have undoubtedly awoke this morning without feeling as though needles were being shoved into my toes and spikes into my knees. I may have still had the headache (allergies are unavoidable), but at least one affliction could have been relatively manageable. Three afflictions are downright grueling.

So...why wasn't I a slug last night? Why didn't I give into my overwhelming desire to remain in a vegetative state all afternoon and evening? Three words...My. Sister. Jennifer. Jennifer has been overweight her entire life. I could always count on Jennifer to indulge me when I felt like being a slug. I needed a large, ooey, gooey latte from Caribou with extra caramel and whip cream? Jennifer would be right there beside me ordering the same. I craved a milkshake from Sonic in the middle of the afternoon? Jennifer would ride all the way out to west Bloomington with me to get one. Super salty buttery popcorn from the Popcorn Shop? Just say the word. Jennifer has always been my go-to person for all things overly rich and indulgent. She always had my back when I felt the need to splurge. My partner in crime. However, at the beginning of 2010, Jennifer had gastric bypass surgery. She has since lost well over 100 pounds...possibly 130? Not sure on that one, but suffice it to say that she has lost an exorbitant amount of weight and looks amazing. She is living a healthy lifestyle. She is exercising. She is eating fresh fruits and vegetables. She is doing everything that human beings do who want to live full, happy, healthy lives. She recently spent five weeks in Morocco with her husband and son (her husband is from Morocco). She came back with a new perspective on the world....a richer world view and the confidence in herself to go with it.

I, on the other hand, have become progressively deeper enmeshed in my sluggish ways. Jennifer still weighs probably 40 or 50 pounds more than I do. However, she has a new energy about her. She oozes optimism and vitality and happiness. The girl is downright vibrant. She still weighs more than me, but to look at us would seem as though I were the fatter sister and always had been. She has a new lease on life and I would give my right arm to ride along on her coattails. I want a tiny bit...I'm not selfish, just an iota....of her enthusiasm for life.

So.....Jennifer convinced me to start the Couch to 5K running program with her. We agreed to start last night and dammit if she didn't show up at my door at 6:00 last night expecting to get started! What the...?! So I had no choice. Left to my own devices, there is no way in hell I would have stepped foot on that treadmill last night. However, there was Jennifer encouraging me to do just that. Perhaps if I spend more time with her, a tiny bit of her enthusiasm for life will rub off on my sorry, sluggish, snarky, pessimistic little self. There may be hope for me yet. I may just become a thin, healthy, happy person after all.................against my will, of course.


Jennifer said...

Love It! Way to go to your sister Jennifer... Jennifers Rock, lol. That is great she is motivating you! Good Luck!!!

Jamie M. said...

Loved your Blog, I too am a slug and I need to get on that treadmill with you guys and prepare for a 5K. Well It's to late to start and tomarrow I will go get that treadmill I keep pushing off the to do list and think of you guys as I am trying to stay motivated.

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