Saturday, June 19, 2010

Miracle Babes


Yesterday my babies turned four years old. When I put Sophie to bed last night, she declared that she no longer needed to wear a pull-up to bed since she is a "big girl" of four now. Never mind that she has awakened with a completely drenched diaper/pull-up every single morning since birth. I reluctantly gave in, envisioning the laundry I would have to do the following morning. To my surprise and Sophie's utter delight, she woke up completely and totally dry this morning. I guess she really IS a big girl now.

It seems like my twins were born just yesterday. Has it really been four years? That's impossible...isn't it? I had a miserable pregnancy. Absolutely miserable. I SO wanted to experience the "joy" of pregnancy. Ruanita was an utterly glowing pregnant woman. She was calm and peaceful, contended and truly the happiest she has ever been when she was pregnant. I was hoping for the same. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Practically from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I began throwing up. And I never stopped. I lost 20 pounds during a twin pregnancy! I was so incredibly sick that I could not eat anything. I survived on lemonade and lemon Italian ice. There was something about the tartness of lemons that allowed them to stay down. Everything else came up almost immediately. I had more than my share of IV fluids due to dehydration. I was prescribed every anti-nausea medicine known to man....some of which came in an uber-pleasant suppository form. I was constantly sick. Somewhere around the second month of my pregnancy, I quite suddenly quit my job of five years (that I rather enjoyed) working in Dispute Resolution for a medical insurance company. I was missing more days of work than I was attending, or so it seemed. I was just mentally and physically exhausted and couldn't keep up with the work. In a fit of hormone-induced tears one day, I simply walked out. Perhaps not the best decision I've ever made, but it all worked out in the end.

In addition to the exhaustion and weight loss, I had lovely acne erupting from every square inch of my face. I had acne worse than any 15 year old boy I had ever seen. I also had an ugly pimply rash that covered my chest and shoulders and back. Suffice it to say that I was NOT an attractive pregnant woman. You hear about the "glow" of pregnancy. The only thing glowing on me were the red zits that could probably be seen from outer space.

I spent the last three weeks of my pregnancy on bedrest in and out of the hospital. In for five days, out for one. In for six days, out for eight hours. In for another seven days before the twins were finally born seven weeks early. Ruanita was stuck with the unenviable task of trying to support me, take care of Lucas, and go to work every day. We had no clue when the twins would actually arrive, so she had to plug along at work every day to allow herself time to be home with us once they did arrive. She worked evenings at that time too, so she also had to find something to do with Lucas every single day from 2pm until 10:30pm while she worked. Luckily, my mom and sister were invaluable during the time. Add to that the frustration of listening to me do nothing but cry and puke for months on end. While the pregnancy was hell for me, I can only imagine it was that much tougher on Ruanita.

On the day the twins were born, my doctor came in to see me and announced that he was going to discharge me because they appeared to have effectively stopped my preterm labor for the time being. I was instructed, for the second time, on how to use the terbutaline pump I would be sent home with. However, prior to sending me home, the doctor wanted to re-check my bloodwork one more time. An hour or so later, he came back to inform me, to his obvious surprise, that the twins were going to be delivered immediately. My bloodwork showed that I had developed pre-eclampsia and my liver enzymes were ten times what they should have been. By that time, I had become accustomed to feeling crappy all day every day, so did not recognize the symptoms of pre-eclamsia.

The doctor, nurses, and anesthesiologist prepped me for an emergency c-section. The anesthesiologist, in his infinite wisdom, did not believe me when I told him I was allergic to morphine. He informed me that morphine can make some people nauseous in higher doses, but people really aren't "allergic" to it. He told me that he would use a very low does of morphine in my epidural and that I shouldn't react to it at all. Well...he was wrong. I began throwing up the minute it was administered and I threw up during the entire c-section. The nurse was at my head with an emesis basin and I felt as though I would die right there on the operating table. When the twins were born and Ruanita proudly stood at my head to show them to me, I couldn't even turn my head. I couldn't look at my babies. As a matter of fact, I did not see them at all until midnight that night...long after the rest of my family and friends had oohed and aahed over them...when I was being moved from recovery into my regular room. Sophie and Nicky were small...3 lbs 14 oz each. However, they were strong and healthy. They were in the special care nursery at the hospital, but did not have to be in the NICU. They were so beautiful that they literally took my breath away. They did not have that scrawny, furry, drowned-rat appearance that I expected from such small preemies. Rather, they were pink and plucky and full of life. I spent several days tube-feeding them and they did lose a bit of weight in the hospital. However, they were strong and were able to go home after only 12 days in the hospital.

To this day, they are the miracles of my life. There were countless instances during my pregnancy when things could have gone terribly wrong. I couldn't eat...so how were they getting proper nourishment? Other women worry about eating a balanced diet during pregnancy. I worried about eating anything at all to nourish the tiny lives growing inside me. I began having preterm labor at a time when they most certainly would not have survived...but they hung in there until they could emerge strong and vital. I had complications that could have easily resulted in long-term consequences for my babies. However, through it all, they survived and thrived. They are strong little creatures. On their fourth birthday, I look back on everything I went through to have Sophie and Nicholas and I know wholeheartedly that I would not have changed a minute of it. They are my angels....my miracle babies.

Happy birthday Sophie and Nicky!


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1 comments:

Jen said...

Sweet...

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