The Beast

I love my children. I really do. However, there are moments when I feel much more inclined to strangle them than to cuddle them. Lucas made the top of my "strangle list" this evening. At about 7:00 this evening, as the kids and I had just finished dinner, there was a knock at the door. It was my neighbor from across the street and her adorable daughter Amelia, who is about 14 or 15 months old. We hadn't seen them much this summer yet, so they stopped by to say hello and to play for a bit. Of course, being the bum that I am, I was already in my pajamas and the bra had been removed hours before. I sat on the porch and chatted with her briefly, trying to disguise my lack of upper "support." Finally, when it became apparent that they intended to visit for a little while, I excused myself and ran inside quickly to put on a bra and a pair of shorts. I am not opposed to stepping outside to grab the paper or the mail without a bra on. However, when you are as...ummm..."endowed" as I am since having my twins, hanging out in the yard playing ring-around-the-rosy braless is just not pretty. When I emerged from the house, the kids were in the yard playing soccer. Actually, they have no idea how to play soccer. Rather, Lucas was kicking the ball and Sophie and Nicky were simply chasing him around the yard. Several times, Lucas threw the ball high into the air and barely missed hitting Amelia in the head. I warned him once. I warned him twice. I even warned him a third time. The fourth time he almost smacked Amelia with the ball, I made him sit on the porch in a time-out. The entire time he sat there, he whined and complained and yelled that it wasn't fair, as I tried having a conversation with my neighbor. When I eventually let him get off the porch, he immediately walked over to Sophie and grabbed the ball from her hands. When I told him to give the ball back....yep, you guessed it. He threw the ball high in the air, barely missing the baby's head as it came down. At this point, I was beyond done with him. Not only was he embarrassing me in front of my neighbor and not allowing me to have a decent conversation with her, but he was repeatedly endangering her daughter and showing absolutely no respect for any of us. I sent him in the house and told him to was not allowed to come back out and play. Of course, he screamed and yelled. When I ignored him, he loudly kicked the front door. I excused myself from the yard and went into the house to threaten him with bodily harm. As I was trying to talk to him near the front door, he began yelling, "I hate you! You're the worst mom ever!" Of course, I am certain my neighbor heard every word. I left him sitting on the couch crying as I went back outside. My neighbor certainly hadn't come by to babysit Sophie and Nicky while I dealt with an unruly seven-year-old. As soon as I came back outside, my neighbor said she probably needed to go and packed up Amelia to head home. I encouraged her to stop by any afternoon to visit because I am almost always home. However, I am quite certain that she has NO desire to subject her daughter to my monster of a son anytime soon.

The crazy part is that Lucas was having a perfectly wonderful day up to that point. And after it was all over, he was in a great mood and gave me no trouble the rest of the evening. So what happened in that moment to turn my little boy into a beast? I can only guess that it was the appearance of our neighbor. What can I say...my kids have perfect timing.