So, the biopsy gods have spoken. I DO have cancer in my lymph nodes.
This is not really what I would call good news, BUT...it finally demolishes the holding pattern we've been maintaining for two weeks. As I've said numerous times, I am not a fan of waiting. I have the patience of a toddler in the check-out line at Target. I'm ridiculous, really.
So I am going in the day after tomorrow to have surgery to have the port placed. Then as soon as we get back from Spring Break, I will have my first chemo session on Monday, April 4th. Suddenly, tomorrow is my last day of work for a while and I am scrambling to make sure everything is covered before I leave. I am going on short term disability at least for the first 8 weeks of chemo when I will be receiving the strongest medication with potentially the worst side effects. I hope to be able to work during the 2nd phase of chemo, but we'll see how it all plays out.
Am I ready for this?
Absolutely and unequivocally NOT. But really, when has life ever waited for us to be ready? I am feeling strong and positive right now, so that is a best case scenario in my mind. (Check back in with me in a month when I am bald and puking up my guts and I may tell a different story, of course.)
But, I digress. That is all I know. Surgery on Thursday, then sweet, sweet much-needed get-the-hell-out-of-town vacation.
This is not really what I would call good news, BUT...it finally demolishes the holding pattern we've been maintaining for two weeks. As I've said numerous times, I am not a fan of waiting. I have the patience of a toddler in the check-out line at Target. I'm ridiculous, really.
So I am going in the day after tomorrow to have surgery to have the port placed. Then as soon as we get back from Spring Break, I will have my first chemo session on Monday, April 4th. Suddenly, tomorrow is my last day of work for a while and I am scrambling to make sure everything is covered before I leave. I am going on short term disability at least for the first 8 weeks of chemo when I will be receiving the strongest medication with potentially the worst side effects. I hope to be able to work during the 2nd phase of chemo, but we'll see how it all plays out.
Am I ready for this?
Absolutely and unequivocally NOT. But really, when has life ever waited for us to be ready? I am feeling strong and positive right now, so that is a best case scenario in my mind. (Check back in with me in a month when I am bald and puking up my guts and I may tell a different story, of course.)
But, I digress. That is all I know. Surgery on Thursday, then sweet, sweet much-needed get-the-hell-out-of-town vacation.
5 comments:
Yay for definitive news! Boo for that particular news. :-(
The plan sounds solid. I am sending mega healing vibes your way. Enjoy the hell out of that vacation! *Hugs*
Can you swim with the porta cath, I hope? Have no idea if you will be by water but good to know if you can. Glad now there is a real plan.
Huge hugs for everyone!
Huge hugs for everyone!
I lost my hair and always say that if you HAVE to be bald, it isn't so bad - it actually feels pretty cool. And you lose your hair everywhere. Also, I don't think I threw up once. The anti-nausea drugs are amazing. I still felt tired but I didn't really stop working.
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