Monday, March 21, 2016

No Automobiles Were Harmed in the Making of This Biopsy

I forgot to tell you guys a funny story.

About a week and a half ago, I had my initial breast biopsy done. (Yes, it's only been a week and a half since my diagnosis. Hard to believe.) Immediately following the biopsy, I had to have another mammogram done to take pictures of the small titanium marker they put in to point to where the biopsy was done. Walking to the mammogram room, I felt incredibly jittery and shaky. I was shaking like a leaf all over. The mammogram technician explained that there is a small amount of epinephrine in the numbing medication they gave me for the biopsy. Apparently, most people don't notice, but some people do react to the epinephrine. Leave it to me to be one of the few who react.

So Ruanita and I had driven separately to the biopsy--partly because we did not know that there would be a biopsy happening and partly because she had to drop the kids at school and we weren't sure how long it would take to get to downtown St. Paul in morning traffic. (We are old pros now and can make it in 19 minutes.) Like I said, I was incredibly jittery and shaky after the biopsy--not to mention a tad bit unnerved by the whole process. Parking garages tend not to be very well lit--particularly underground parking garages. And the parking spaces are really small. And not very well spaced. And, well...I kind of, sort of side-swiped a gigantic pole pulling out of my parking spot. Scraped up the side of the car pretty good. I am pretty sure I stuttered a curse word or two. Luckily for me, Ruanita was more concerned by the possible cancer lurking in my breast than she was concerned about the car. Any other day, I would have been in big trouble.

This morning, I had my third biopsy in a week and a half (breast, skin, and now lymph nodes).  It was kind of a surreal experience. There I was, laying sideways propped up on a foam wedge, feeling very much like I was going to roll right off the exam table, breast exposed, arm stretched uncomfortably over my head, someone fondling my armpit as the Muzak version of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid was piped in on the speakers. It was weird, to say the very least. But I didn't feel a thing after the initial pin prick of the numbing medication going in. And I got to watch the whole biopsy on the ultrasound screen, which was rather cool. The lymph nodes look like little sacs--somewhat like the little sacs fetuses are housed in. I had definite deja vu. Ruanita thought the one they biopsied looked like a duck. I am sure Rorschach would have a thing or two to say about her.

Afterwards, I once again got the crazy jitters--like being super duper excited as a kid. Only biopsies don't really excite me, so it was a weird sensation. This time, however, I was smart enough to let Ruanita drive home. So no automobiles were harmed in the making of my biopsy.

This time.


Madge Woods said...

Oy vey.

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