My Dog Ate My Television

Against Ruanita’s will and against everything she believes and everything she is, we are going television shopping this evening. We have our lovely dog, Stella, to thank for this unfortunate (or fortunate—depending of whether your name is Shannon or Ruanita) predicament.

Stella ate our remote control. Not so big a deal, right? Someone came up with this ingenious contraption a few years back called a Universal Remote. Yes, this exists. It’s not a figment of my overly fecund imagination. They even sell them at Target. And we all know if Target sells something, then it is most certainly adorable, beneficial, and/or delicious. Considering it is plain gray and rather dull-looking—and considering that I am not a remote control eating dog—I bought a Universal Remote under the assumption that it would be beneficial.

I was wrong.

Here’s the deal. When she ate our previous remote, Stella somehow managed to change the setting on our television from “cable” to “antenna.” Easy fix, no? No. The Universal Remote I bought did a great job of changing the channel and adjusting the volume. It muted the hell out of that old television. It even brought up the main menu, thereby lulling me into a false sense of confidence that I would be able to change the settings on the main menu. But can I change the settings? No.

So I went back to Target and bought a new remote. One that was more expensive, more adorable, likely tastier, and—LESS beneficial than the last one. It would not change the settings on the television either.

After spending about $35 on useless remote controls, I came to the rather unfortunate (or fortunate since my name is Shannon) conclusion that we need a new television. So this evening, Ruanita and Lucas and Sophie and Nicholas and I (we’re leaving Stella at home) are going shopping for a new television.

Should be fun.

If one enjoys that type of masochistic pleasure.

Which, of course, I do.

Because my name is Shannon and I have a shopping problem.

And specifically, a Target problem.

And apparently a dog problem.

And if you ask Ruanita, she’ll tell you I have a spending problem, as well.

Maybe even an electronics problem.

As a matter of fact, my problems are too numerous to list in this short blog entry, so I will leave you instead with a question to ponder.

Plasma or LCD?