CAST OF CHARACTERS
Mom……………………………………………an unusually sexy and intelligent parent
Sophie…………………………………………………………………........a purveyor of evil
Nicholas………………………………………………………….....a sweet, dumb little boy
TIME: Mid-morning, March 2013
SETTING: The Highway 494 corridor of the Twin Cities.
SCENE ONE
(An unnaturally youthful forty-year-old mom is driving down the highway with her six-year-old twins in the back seat of a Toyota Camry on their way to Kohl's to buy the young girl an Easter dress. The boy is just along for the ride. They have just been to Bruegger’s Bagels and are noshing on some bagelicious yumminess. The mom, being awoefully neglectful typical harried parent who has forgotten to buy her children something to drink, hands her son her Diet Coke to have a sip. Normally, the children are not allowed soda, but just this one time won’t hurt them.)
NICHOLAS
Mmm, I like this soda.
SOPHIE
I think you’ve had enough, Nicky.
(Sophie tries to wrestle the Bruegger’s cup from Nicholas’ hands, but he pulls it away to take another sip with his head pressed painfully against the window farthest from his sister.)
NICHOLAS
Just one more drink.
(He chugs from the cup.)
SOPHIE
(Speaking louder than is necessary in a small Camry.)
Mom, I think Nicholas has had enough soda.
NICHOLAS
Leave me alone.
(He pushes his sister away as she uses all four of her octopus-like limbs to try and wrench the cup from his grasp.)
SOPHIE
Soda is not for kids, Nicky.
MOM
(Smiling in the rearview mirror at her daughter whose bossiness is endearing...to a point.)
Yes, you’re probably right, Soph. That’s enough, Nicholas.
NICHOLAS
(He hands the cup back to his mother who, like all mothers, is especially talented at hurling down the highway at 65 miles per hour with one thumb on the steering wheel and her entire right arm in the back seatsmacking tending to the needs of her children.)
Here you go, mom.
(Nicholas grins widely)
I really like that soda. It doesn’t hurt too much if I take small sips.
SOPHIE
You shouldn’t be sipping it at all. Kids aren’t supposed to drink soda.
(Sophie shakes her head at Nicholas as if he has been especially naughty.)
NICHOLAS
But mom gave it to me, so it’s okay.
SOPHIE
No, it’s not. Soda’s not for kids. It’ll rot your teeth.
(She continues to shake her head, but now closes her eyes, as well—obviously in a state of know-it-all ecstasy.)
NICHOLAS
Mom wouldn’t give me something that would rot my teeth.
MOM
No, I wouldn’t. One sip of soda will not rot your teeth. I wouldn’t let you drink it all the time. Or even some of the time. But one sip won’t hurt you.
SOPHIE
(Speaking in the haughtiest tone ever emoted by a six-year-old child.)
Well, I don’t want any. I like my teeth.
NICHOLAS
My teeth aren’t gonna rot.
(He turns toward his sister—still in the throes of rapture—and eyes her suspiciously.)
Momma, my teeth aren’t gonna rot, are they?
MOM
No, Nicky. You didn’t drink enough soda to rot your teeth.
SOPHIE
(Awakening from her self-induced euphoria.)
Yes he did.
NICHOLAS
No, I didn’t. Momma said so.
SOPHIE
Yes you did. Soda’s not for kids. You shouldn’t drink any at all.
NICHOLAS
Momma, Sophie said my teeth are going to rot.
SOPHIE
It stunts your growth, too.
NICHOLAS
What does that mean?
SOPHIE
(With a hint of Vincent Price in her voice.)
It means you stop growing and you’ll be a little kid…forever!
NICHOLAS
(Fear is beginning to sink into his voice. It grows smaller and quieter with every word.)
Momma, Sophie said I’m gonna be a little kid forever.
MOM
No, you’re not. Sophie, quit picking on your brother.
SOPHIE
I’m not picking on him. I’m just telling him the truth.
(She smiles at Nicholas.)
I’m going to keep growing and you are going to be a little, short kid forever.
MOM
Sophie Elizabeth!
SOPHIE
(Feigning innocence)
Wha?
MOM
Leave your brother alone.
SOPHIE
Fine.
(Sophie crosses her arms. She turns to watch the traffic hurling past them out the window. She is silent fornot long enough a few moments before speaking again.)
It’s his teeth.
(Mom glances in the rearview mirror to give Sophie a sharp "mommy" look. Nicholas stares at Sophie in wide-eyes terror. He reaches up, places his index finger on his front teeth and pushes—checking their stability. Sophie smiles.)
FADE OUT.
Mom……………………………………………an unusually sexy and intelligent parent
Sophie…………………………………………………………………........a purveyor of evil
Nicholas………………………………………………………….....a sweet, dumb little boy
TIME: Mid-morning, March 2013
SETTING: The Highway 494 corridor of the Twin Cities.
SCENE ONE
(An unnaturally youthful forty-year-old mom is driving down the highway with her six-year-old twins in the back seat of a Toyota Camry on their way to Kohl's to buy the young girl an Easter dress. The boy is just along for the ride. They have just been to Bruegger’s Bagels and are noshing on some bagelicious yumminess. The mom, being a
NICHOLAS
Mmm, I like this soda.
SOPHIE
I think you’ve had enough, Nicky.
(Sophie tries to wrestle the Bruegger’s cup from Nicholas’ hands, but he pulls it away to take another sip with his head pressed painfully against the window farthest from his sister.)
NICHOLAS
Just one more drink.
(He chugs from the cup.)
SOPHIE
(Speaking louder than is necessary in a small Camry.)
Mom, I think Nicholas has had enough soda.
NICHOLAS
Leave me alone.
(He pushes his sister away as she uses all four of her octopus-like limbs to try and wrench the cup from his grasp.)
SOPHIE
Soda is not for kids, Nicky.
MOM
(Smiling in the rearview mirror at her daughter whose bossiness is endearing...to a point.)
Yes, you’re probably right, Soph. That’s enough, Nicholas.
NICHOLAS
(He hands the cup back to his mother who, like all mothers, is especially talented at hurling down the highway at 65 miles per hour with one thumb on the steering wheel and her entire right arm in the back seat
Here you go, mom.
(Nicholas grins widely)
I really like that soda. It doesn’t hurt too much if I take small sips.
SOPHIE
You shouldn’t be sipping it at all. Kids aren’t supposed to drink soda.
(Sophie shakes her head at Nicholas as if he has been especially naughty.)
NICHOLAS
But mom gave it to me, so it’s okay.
SOPHIE
No, it’s not. Soda’s not for kids. It’ll rot your teeth.
(She continues to shake her head, but now closes her eyes, as well—obviously in a state of know-it-all ecstasy.)
NICHOLAS
Mom wouldn’t give me something that would rot my teeth.
MOM
No, I wouldn’t. One sip of soda will not rot your teeth. I wouldn’t let you drink it all the time. Or even some of the time. But one sip won’t hurt you.
SOPHIE
(Speaking in the haughtiest tone ever emoted by a six-year-old child.)
Well, I don’t want any. I like my teeth.
NICHOLAS
My teeth aren’t gonna rot.
(He turns toward his sister—still in the throes of rapture—and eyes her suspiciously.)
Momma, my teeth aren’t gonna rot, are they?
MOM
No, Nicky. You didn’t drink enough soda to rot your teeth.
SOPHIE
(Awakening from her self-induced euphoria.)
Yes he did.
NICHOLAS
No, I didn’t. Momma said so.
SOPHIE
Yes you did. Soda’s not for kids. You shouldn’t drink any at all.
NICHOLAS
Momma, Sophie said my teeth are going to rot.
SOPHIE
It stunts your growth, too.
NICHOLAS
What does that mean?
SOPHIE
(With a hint of Vincent Price in her voice.)
It means you stop growing and you’ll be a little kid…forever!
NICHOLAS
(Fear is beginning to sink into his voice. It grows smaller and quieter with every word.)
Momma, Sophie said I’m gonna be a little kid forever.
MOM
No, you’re not. Sophie, quit picking on your brother.
SOPHIE
I’m not picking on him. I’m just telling him the truth.
(She smiles at Nicholas.)
I’m going to keep growing and you are going to be a little, short kid forever.
MOM
Sophie Elizabeth!
SOPHIE
(Feigning innocence)
Wha?
MOM
Leave your brother alone.
SOPHIE
Fine.
(Sophie crosses her arms. She turns to watch the traffic hurling past them out the window. She is silent for
It’s his teeth.
(Mom glances in the rearview mirror to give Sophie a sharp "mommy" look. Nicholas stares at Sophie in wide-eyes terror. He reaches up, places his index finger on his front teeth and pushes—checking their stability. Sophie smiles.)
FADE OUT.
THE END.
3 comments:
I am literally laughing out loud. This is just so funny.Tell Nicky, my grandkids are allowed to drink sprite and their teeth have not fallen out or stunted their growth. They have had more than a few sips. This is their special treat when they go out to eat if they haven't had any other sweets that particular day. No diet drinks however and that is really just for the artificial everything that is in it. But have they tried it and liked it, yes. Like forbidden fruit. For the most part it is chocolate milk for them
Shannon, you need to figure out who will do the screenplay and produce -- it is sure to be a hit, especially with all of us been-there mommies.
Leenata
Excellent. :)
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