Go Eagles!

I haven’t written much about March Madness this year like I usually do. That is in part because: 1.) My beloved Wildcats, after winning the entire thing last year, didn’t even make it to the dance this year, 2.) my bracket is complete trash thanks to the blood-bath that has been this year’s games, and 3.) my ten-year-old son is currently ahead of me in our bracket challenge and I am beginning to regret not letting him bet real money—at least I could have taken a “mommy cut” of his winnings instead of simply throwing away my own $20. And really, what’s wrong with children gambling, after all? Shouldn’t they be allowed to experience the soul-crushing cataclysm that is losing your hard-earned cash to an idiot who can’t even spell Gonzaga? (I am speaking theoretically, of course—not calling anyone in my bracket pool an idiot.)

With no Kentucky Wildcats to cheer for in the tournament this year, I am finding it difficult to ascertain where exactly my allegiances should lie. One would think that I would simply cheer for the other Kentucky team in the tournament. However, considering that Cats fans and Cards fans are hardcore rivals bordering on full-scale combatants, that seems somewhat detestable. Repulsive, even.

So who do I cheer for?

Gonzaga is out. Georgetown is out. I can’t cheer for Indiana, being a Kentuckian by birth. That would be treasonous. The thought of cheering for Duke makes me throw up a little in my mouth. The Jayhawks? No, I don’t like Bill Self. Florida? No. Ohio State? Maybe. Possibly. Nah. Marquette? They do have cool uniforms with the stripes down the sides. But do snazzy jerseys a fan make? I think not. Miami? I picked them to go to the final game, but I’m not feeling a lot of excitement about them.

So again I ask, who do I cheer for?

I have decided my team is going to be Florida Gulf Coast. Those boys are playing with heart. They came in with nothing to lose and they are playing that way. Can they beat Florida? Maybe. Can they beat Kansas? Probably not. But stranger things have happened. I am losing to a ten-year-old who has never lived a single day in the Bluegrass State. He’s a Minnesotan, for God’s sake! If I can lose to a Minnesotan, then FGCU has at least an infinitesimal chance.

Go Eagles!!