
For the most part, I do not have a dirty mind. I am a fairly unsophisticated person. A simpleton, even. My mind does not immediately shift into the gutter at the mere mention of innocent words that could possibly be construed as vulgar. Weenie? I assume you are talking about hot dogs. Bush? You're talking shrubs, right. Shag? Oh, you're getting new carpet. I prefer Berber to shag any day. Dick? Van Dyke? Hump? Where did you see a camel? Are we going to the zoo?
You get my point. I am what people refer to as “slow on the uptake.” I don't always “get” dirty jokes right away. I like to credit my good Catholic upbringing for my general naivete when it comes to vulgarity. I played the organ at church for God's sake! No, not that kind of organ.
Last night, despite my relatively innocent mind, I was “getting” everything my kids said. I was hearing it loud and clear. I am even a bit embarrassed to be typing it here. But, in the interest of perpetuating the good ole' classic dirty joke, I will share it with you. The conversation around my dinner table last night went a little something like this:
Me: So how do you guys like the Magic Shell? It's pretty cool, huh? Yummy?
Sophie: Yes, it's yummy.
Nicholas: I like it.
Lucas: Mine is getting hard already.
Sophie: (whining) Mine isn't getting hard yet.
Lucas: If you blow on it, it'll get hard faster.
Sophie: Really? I'll try it. Pphhphphffft.
Nicholas: Mommy, mine is still soft. Can you make it hard for me?
Sophie: Mine is getting a little hard now. Try blowing it, Nicky. It works.
Lucas: If you're just patient, yours will get hard, too.
Sophie: Can you feel mine and tell me if it is hard?
Nicholas: You're right. Mine is getting hard now.
Sophie: Oops. I dribbled.
Lucas: It's okay. Just lick it up.
Sophie: It gets soft again when you lick it. Cool!
Nicholas: Mmmm.....this is the best thing ever.
Lucas: Ooops....I got a little on your shirt. Sorry 'bout that.
There you have it. My children's first—and likely last—Magic Shell experience.
Never again will we speak of this. Okay?
3 comments:
This is so funny and just adorable. Love those kids of yours. Wonder what is in this stuff that makes it harden? :)
Now THAT was a laugh out loud. I would have been dying! Thanks for the warning to stay away from Magic Shell (I never liked it that much anyway). ;)
What a perfect way to start off the morning--falling out of my chair laughing! This is too funny :D
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