Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Crabbiness Revisited

I am irritable this morning. I shouldn't be allowed to log onto my blog and begin typing when I am irritable, but here I am nonetheless. I have no clue why I am so crabby this morning. Things have been stressing me out lately. I try not to let things gets to me. I try to hold things in and remain optimistic, but anxiety and stress find a way of seeping out. There has been no singular traumatic event to get me all worked up, but the compilation of smaller annoying events has grown to the point that the stress is affecting me. There seems to constantly be something that has to be done. Something that needs immediate attention. Something that is going to blow up in my face if I do not get up and take care of it this very minute.

No, Ruanita and I are not fighting. As a matter of fact, our relationship is as strong and intact as it has ever been. The kids are fine. Healthy and happy, as ever. It's the little things. Work. The house. Our crazy opposite schedules. Small, insignificant stressors that build upon one another until they have grown to gargantuan proportion and feel overwhelming. I need to tell myself that these issues, on their own, are no big deal. I am just feeling the combined weight of really unimportant matters.

I am typically not a person who succumbs to stress. In general, I am a pretty optimistic, upbeat person, to Ruanita's great annoyance. I tend to be a silver lining kind of girl. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and that everything will work out as it should. I believe in happy endings.

Why then am I feeling so much stress right now? It's not like anything particularly bad has happened. There is no crisis looming on the horizon. It's just the day to day grind. Maybe I am in a rut. As a matter of fact, I am pretty certainly our day-to-day schedule has become firmly entrenched in a giant life-sucking rut. We need a break. We need a vacation. We need a change. We need a shake-up.

I have come to the conclusion that being a grown-up sucks.


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