On Being a Girl

I've decided to be a girl. Actually, I guess I have always been a girl. As a matter of fact, when I was little, I was a girlie girl. I wore dresses all the time. I loved pink and purple and unicorns and bunny rabbits. My most revered toys were my dolls and my Barbies. I didn't understand my tomboy sister who wanted to play with trucks and G.I Joes. As a matter of fact, to this day, I still have not forgiven her for breaking my gorgeous yellow Barbie Dream Van by trying to ride it like it was a bulldozer. But I digress.

Back to my initial point. I have decided to embrace my inner girl. I actually went out this week and bought that most girlie of all accessories. I bought a purse. It has been years and years since I carried a purse. I had one in high school. As a matter of fact, I loved purses in high school. I loved shopping for them. I loved the smell and the feel of the leather. I loved the multitude of pockets and hiding places in a purse. I loved having all of my "stuff" in one handy place.

When I went to college, my purse was replaced with a backpack. My backpack carried everything I owned and went everywhere I went. After college, I continued using a backpack for a while as a young twenty-something. I then came out as a lesbian and fully embraced my lesbian butchiness. Ok...yes that is pretty hysterical since I am about as un-butchy as they come. I barely know how to pump gas, I scream like a girl at the sight of bugs, and I look horrible in flannel shirts. But I tried. I began carrying a wallet and only a wallet. I was bummed about the lack of storage options in a small wallet. But I was a lesbian. I wasn't allowed to carry a purse, right?

Well, my wallet carrying days went on for years. That is, until this past weekend. Sophie and I went to Target on Sunday to pick up a few items we needed for the week. A "few items" turned into almost $200 worth of stuff, as can happen quite quickly and unexpectedly when I walk into a Target store. The cashier loaded all of my groceries and sundry items into my environmentally friendly reusable grocery sacks (I AM a lesbian, after all) and I stacked them in the cart. I paid for my items and placed my wallet on top of one of the bags so I could get Sophie bundled up in her coat and hat before braving the frigid elements outside. We pushed the cart to the minivan and I secured Sophie and all of my groceries in the van. Yet another successful Target trip.

Fast forward to Monday morning. I am standing in the living room all dressed for work. It is 6:30 in the morning and I am getting ready to walk out the door. I walk over to the little tray on our TV cabinet to grab my wallet and it is not there. My initial knee-jerk reaction was to turn to Ruanita and demand, "What did you do with my wallet?" Bad idea. Especially since Ruanita had no idea where my wallet was. I checked the van...twice. I looked around the entire house. I swore to Ruanita that my wallet was sitting on top of one of the bags of groceries when she put them away. I ended up leaving the house in huff...Ruanita convinced that I was an idiot for losing my wallet (again) and me convinced that she was an idiot for misplacing it.

Well....as is often the case, I was the idiot. When Target opened at 8AM Monday morning, I called their Customer Service desk and, sure enough, they had my wallet. Some kind person had found it laying in the parking lot and turned it in. Lucky for me, that kind person did not decide to go shopping instead. There are good people in this world. I called Ruanita to tell her the good news. She had already made a list of everything we would have to call and cancel if my wallet were not quickly found. I apologized profusely for my idiocy. We ended the conversation with Ruanita saying, "You really need to get a purse. You lose your wallet way too often."

I decided that perhaps, just maybe, she was right. So Monday afternoon, when the kids and I went to Target to pick up my lost wallet, I dragged them to the purse section. I figured Target was a good start. There was no point paying a lot of money for a super nice purse if I wasn't sure I was going to like carrying one. So we perused the discount purses at Target. Actually, Sophie and I perused while the boys tried on sunglasses and made fart jokes and laughed at one another. Sophie, being a girlie girl like I was as a child, was drawn to all of the purple purses. She begged me to to buy a large lavender faux-crocodile satchel. To her great disappointment, I had to nix that one. I ended up finding a nice purse I liked at a reasonable price.

I have to say, I think I actually am going to like carrying a purse. My purse has lots of pockets and zippers and hiding places. Initially, I felt highly conspicuous carrying it....like I was dressed in drag. However, I am now beginning to embrace it. It makes me feel feminine. And I have to say...I like that. I kind of like being a girl. Ruanita may regret the day that she unwittingly re-introduced me to the joys of the purse. I feel a shopping trip in my near future......