Just Kill Me Now

Lucas has signed up for the 100 Club at school. What exactly is the 100 Club, you are wondering? Allow me to explain. The 100 Club is a purely optional assignment from Lucas' 2nd grade teacher. It is not required. It is not mandated. It is completely discretionary. Kids who decide to join the 100 Club agree to read 100 books in their free time between now and the end of the school year.

What the hell?!

First and foremost, all of Lucas' time is "free time." The 100 Club is really an assignment for the parents. These books will have to be read in my "free time." And let's face it...that is an imaginary concept, at best. I don't have free time. I don't even have pee time. I can't even urinate in peace. When am I going to find the time to read 100 books with Lucas? However, what can I do? What can I say? I can't exactly discourage my son from reading. My son who hates reading...my son who takes half an hour to read a 10-page book. If he wants to read 100 books in his free time this year, I can only smile and nod. Encourage him and applaud his efforts. Yea....okay.

So not only does he have to read 100 books, but he has to read them from certain categories. Four books have to be chapter books. Three have to be poetry books. (Umm....yea. Has the teacher met my son?) Five books have to be about historical people. One book has to be about Minnesota. One book about the United States. One book about another country. The remaining eighty-five books can be of Lucas' choosing. We received a log today from his teacher where we are to track the titles of the 100 books Lucas reads.

Please. Someone. Anyone. Just kill me now.