Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Foot Follies

I am going back to the foot doctor this afternoon. I am hoping against hopes that he will tell me I don’t have to wear this air cast anymore. However, since I have not been wearing it as it was prescribed to me, I suspect that will not be the case. When I was given the cast, I was told that I needed to wear it any time that I was weight-bearing….in essence, pretty much all of the time. The problem I have with wearing the cast, aside from its obvious bulk and cumbersomeness, is that it is a red flag. It singles me out. It calls attention to me. People I do not like (and can routinely ignore) feel the need to ask me what happened. I then feel compelled to answer their question and a conversation ensues. A conversation I could have avoided without this wretched cast. Given the option, I would uniformly choose NOT to call attention to myself. I do not like the limelight. I like to go about my day flying under the radar. When people don’t notice you, specifically at work, they do not ask things of you. They do not feel the need to bombard you with tales of their love lives. They do not feel compelled to whine about their unappreciative husbands and ungrateful children. They do not babble monotonously about what they cooked for dinner last night or what they are wearing out tonight or who they ran into at the grocery store last week. Don’t get me wrong….I am not a cold-hearted person. I am not completely antisocial. If I like a person, I am more than willing to listen to, and even enjoy hearing about, their drivel. However, if a person annoys me to no end, I try to avoid such exchanges….or any exchanges, for that matter. Having my foot in a cast, however, seems to be an open invitation to all of the eager-beaver bothersome people of the world to initiate a conversation with me. And I don’t even have a good story to share as to why I am in a cast. Attacked by a shark while swimming off the coast of Hawaii? No. Broke my leg while skiing in the Alps? No. Jumped from a speeding minivan after being carjacked on Chicago Avenue? Nope. Nothing exciting. I have an inflammation in the second toe of my foot that causes pain and swelling. Oooohhhh…an inflammation. How exquisitely dull! You would think a story that dull would be a conversation killer. But no…apparently it is a natural segue to stories about bunions and foot fungus. Seriously, people?!?


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