Thursday, July 15, 2010

Three and a half down....

Three and a half and a half to go. Today, Sophie officially tested positive for strep. Of course, in typical Sophie fashion, we almost didn't get a diagnosis because Sophie refused to open her mouth for the nurse practitioner. It took me physically restraining her and the nurse bribing her with two stickers and two lollipops for her to finally open up and allow the strawberry-flavored swab to enter her mouth. As expected, she tested positive for strep. And by the way...why wasn't I given a flavor option with my swab?

So now I've had it (for the first time ever--crazy painful!), Lucas has had it, and now Sophie has it. We probably have more Amoxicillin at my house right now than the pharmacy has in stock! So where does the "half" come into play? I am pretty certain Ruanita is getting it as well. She had a sore throat today and when I forced her to let me look at the back of her throat (I almost had to resort to physical restraint, stickers, and lollipops) her tonsils were bright red, hugely swollen, and covered in what looked like some sort of potholes or cavities. They looked very similar to mine at the peak of my strep. Being the mild hypochondriac that I am, I kept a flashlight in the bathroom at all times so I could keep a constant eye on the progress of my tonsils and throat. To my dismay, Ruanita was not nearly as interested in looking at my tonsils as I was, and pretty much refused to do so by the third or fourth day. I, however, am incredibly interested in the state of her tonsils. I want to make certain that I am ready to force her to the doctor as soon as I am fairly sure that she has strep. Ruanita will refuse to go the doctor, if left to her own devices. She will let an illness linger and fester until she is unbearably sick. She will refuse to rest. She will refuse to nap even when all of us are sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. She will insist on doing the laundry...and cooking her own meals...and washing the dishes...and even mowing the grass. She will complain about being a "burden" or "inconveniencing" me. She will be utterly blind to that fact that it is a great "burden" to me that she will not take care of herself and get better. She will be completely ignorant of my overwhelming desire for her to just take her sick ass upstairs and go to sleep! So in the meantime...until we have played out the above described scenario (which I am pretty certain WILL happen)...I will continue to stalk Ruanita's tonsils. I will be alert to every wince and every labored swallow. I will find ways to inconspicuously check her forehead for telltale signs of a fever. Oh had a fly on your forehead. I was just shooing it away. I will ask her how she feels, analyzing the nuances of her every answer, until she is ready to throttle me. I think it's pretty inevitable that we will all end up with strep throat. Can't we just be given a family-sized dose of Amoxicillin and save ourselves all of this wasted time and mental energy? Just fill our bathtub with that sticky pink suspension and we'll all bathe in it! Though probably pretty messy, it would certainly be a better alternative than our current state of affairs.


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