Craving a snack....

It's 9:00pm. All of the kids are in bed and I am alone in the living room. My desire for an evening snack has kicked into high gear. I am craving something salty. Potato chips....sour cream and onion, preferably. I promised myself that today would be THE day. The day that I start watching what I eat again. Day one (of many, many day ones) on my path to living a healthier lifestyle. The day that I turn everything around. Let me tell you....that's a lot of pressure to put on a Thursday. In July. On a day that included a trip to the urgent care. On a day that I am still recovering from strep. However, it had to be today. What about Friday? Saturday? Sunday? Those are difficult days to start. Weekends are tough and I need a day or two of doing well under my belt before I tackle a weekend. How about Monday then? Had I decided to start on Monday, that would have just been an open invitation for me to have a free-for-all over the weekend. I would have been shoveling it in like nobody's business! And if I put it out any further than that, I simply would not have done it. No...it had to be today.

This time last year, I was thirty pounds lighter. I had worked hard, exercised, watched what I ate....I had done everything right and got results. I was feeling great about myself. At some point, I decided that I could let up a bit. I decided that I deserved a break. Well, that break turned into several breaks. Then several cakes. And ice cream...and dinners out...and fast food. I all but stopped eating the fruits and vegetables I had discovered that I truly enjoyed. So here I am a year later and I have gained back the exact thirty pounds that I lost last year. And...to make matters worse...in an act of stupidly misplaced optimism, I tossed out all of my "fat" clothes last year. So here I am....dangling on the edge of complete and total nudity. Seriously...if I gain five more pounds, I will be naked. It will not be pretty. I feel fat and frumpy and I do not like it at all.

So here I sit. It is now 9:17 PM. Instead of eating, I am typing. I have rinsed my mouth with mouthwash hoping the minty freshness will deter my hunger for potato chips. So far it isn't working quite like I had hoped. Therefore, I am going to take my ravenous butt to bed. We're going to call day one a done deal. Perhaps a rousing Sudoku puzzle in bed will take my mind off of those little salty oniony disks of deliciousness. Probably not......

Hopefully, day two will be easier.