Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Poop...the story of my life...


I am beginning to wonder if there will always and forever be a tiny pair of poop-stained underwear soaking in my bathroom sink. The offender? Nicholas. I think I have written before that I tend to be, historically, somewhat of a Nicky whisperer. He can be an…ummm…challenging…kid at times. However, I understand his eccentricities. I appreciate his little foibles. I love his quirks. In other words, I “get” Nicholas. However, lately, even I am at a loss as to how to handle him.

Nicholas turned four years old a few weeks ago. He will be entering kindergarten…real school…in one short year. Yet he still poops in his pants. Nicholas has always done things in his own time. On his own terms. It has only been in the last few months that he decided he would potty train himself. Up to that point, he had flat out refused. For a while, we were golden. Nicky was peeing and pooping on the potty like an old pro. Then things went sour…or rather, stinky. Suddenly, Nicholas began pooping in his underwear. And I don’t mean the occasional streaks that all boys seem to leave behind. I am talking about full-fledged solid, complete, poops. He fills his underwear. And he doesn’t tell Ruanita or I. He goes on about his business, seemingly totally oblivious to the load he is carrying around. Most of the time, I will smell the aforementioned “load” and will confront him about it, at which point he will get upset and say that he didn’t want me to know about it. Other times, when he is somewhat less odorous, I do not notice until well after the fact…perhaps even hours after the fact. By that point, it has become essentially super-glued to his poor little behind. I practically need a hammer and chisel to get it off. This leads to a raw, bloody tush, Nicholas crying hysterically that it hurts, and me feeling as though I am torturing my son. It’s an ugly situation all around.

So what do we do? We have tried reasoning with him. I have explained until I am blue in the face the benefits of pooping on the potty. I never expected that I would have to practically create a PowerPoint presentation on the advantages of defecating in a toilet as opposed to one’s underwear. No sane adult should be forced to ponder the pros of potty pooping to that extent. We have tried voicing our frustration to him. Ruanita, in a fit of exasperation, told him just yesterday that she was sick and tired of all of the poop. Nicholas response? “I’m sick and tired of this too, mom.” So we are all in agreement, it seems. Somehow, that is not very comforting. We have tried taking away privileges. We have told Nicholas that he will not be allowed to play the Wii on days that he poops in his pants. How did he respond? “But I can play the next day, right?” Nothing works with this child. Do you punish a child for pooping in his pants? Do you encourage him? Do you coddle him? Do you ignore it? Is it even possible to ignore the stench that seems to be emanating from every room in my house these days? Do I simply admit defeat? Invest in Depends Undergarments…are they traded on New York Stock Exchange? What is a frustrated mom to do?

He's damn lucky he's so cute!

4 comments:

Robbie said...

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Jessica said...

oh, tough situation! Does he seem to go at regular times? Perhaps you could try a proactive solution, like have him sit on the potty until he DOES poo and then let him go about his business? I certainly don't envy you guys. Hopefully he will see reason soon. Best of luck!

Kelly said...

I know it seems completely counter-intuitive, but he might be constipated. Some kids, especially those who want to do things on their own terms, will withhold stool. They may be too busy playing, and decide that they don't want to stop to go sit on the potty, or they might have a small rectal fissure or hard stool that causes pain when they poop. For whatever reason, they don't poop on a regular basis. The colon becomes fuller and fuller and actually gets stretched out so it doesn't work as well. And the child also has trouble feeling when the colon in full and when they need to stool because it is so stretched out. It can get to the point where stool from above leaks around the hard stool that sits in the colon and kids have accidents. You might consider taking him to his pediatrician for an exam and maybe an x-ray that can look for lots of stool in the colon.

Shannon Ralph said...

Kelly-Thanks for the response. He's always been constipated...since birth. We've struggled with switching up his diet (hard to do because he is an incredibly picker eater) to get more fiber into him. He's taken Miralax forever, as well. It's frustrating because I know it is painful for him, but nothing seems to help. He is going in a few weeks to see his ped for his 4-year check-up. We'll discuss it with her then...again. Hopefully, we can come to some sort of resolution soon. It's killing us both.

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