Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A few meaningful truths...

In the midst of my long post yesterday about my "new" life, I mentioned that I did not feel like I had learned anything new in years. As I thought about that throughout the day yesterday, I realized that I was not completely honest in that post. I have learned new things. No one can be a parent without learning certain life-altering truths. Here are a few of the meaningful things that I have learned since the birth of my children:

If you allow a 3-year-old to go to bed with a certain DVD every single night, it will eventually cease to work. Sorry more Cars.

Beavers have see-through eyelids. I can thank my kids' favorite PBS show, Zooboomafoo, for this little nugget of knowledge. Thanks Chris and Martin!

The Sphinx was built in 1982 by a certain man named Mr. Egypt. Lucas told me this yesterday. So...he may be a bit off in his details, but at least he knew there was an Egyptian link of some sort.

There is a fine line between washing a beloved blankie/lovey too often, which results in fraying and its eventual premature demise...and washing it too seldom, which results in a stench that lingers on your child and will literally burn your nostrils. I years into this parenting experiment...found the right balance.

Before the age of three or four (at least), a sick child is completely incapable of hitting a bowl or toilet when throwing up. As a matter of fact, the child's mom seems to be a preferred target.

Band-aids can fix any and all boo-boos...both real and imagined. I highly recommend Strawberry Shortcake band-aids, my personal favorite.

While watching a Nova documentary on UFO's, Lucas told me that "aliens may look weird, but they sure have good art." He was referring to crop circles. I love him for offering me a new perspective on alien invasions....something I admit to giving very little thought to pre-motherhood.

Having kids, I learned the fine art of taking broken crayons and melting them down in the oven to make new crayons. Recycling at its best! This never would have occurred to me if I didn't have little ones breaking every single crayon they touch.

You can often get kids to do anything you want if you threaten to count to three. Somehow reciting "1....2.....3..." gets kids jumping. I am going to try it at work and see if it is as effective in that arena.

I've learned that ants are beautiful, worms are amazing, and wasps build the "coolest" homes ever. I have yet to develop an appreciation of spiders and centipedes though.

I've learned that an allergic reaction to mosquito bites...particularly on the NOT a pretty sight.

I've learned that no amount of scolding will stop a budding artist from using the walls of your home as his canvas. It's better to just invest in large quantities of Magic Sponges.

With the exception of a nice Easter outfit, all kids clothes should come from Target, Wal-mart, or Goodwill. Trust me on will cry fewer tears when your child pours an entire bowl of spaghetti on the $3.99 t-shirt from Target rather than the cute little frock you paid $40.00 for at Gymboree.

Sticking your tongue out really DOES make you color better. Who knew?

Well...I guess that is enough showing off for today. I don't want to dazzle you too much with all of my newly acquired knowledge!


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