Monday, April 12, 2010


Below are excerpts from actual conversations I had with my children today. Perhaps these explain why I have gray hair...and why I am exhausted at the end of every day...and why I turn to ice cream and cookies to soothe my inner angst...and why I bite my fingernails...and why I feel an overwhelming urge to spike my morning coffee with butterscotch schnapps every morning....

Anyway...enough about me. Here is a glimpse into the inner workings of my children's fascinating little brains:

Sophie: Can you put a diaper and my pajamas on me?
Me: I will in a few minutes Sophie. We're all going to get our jammies on in a few minutes.
Sophie: But I have to pee.
Me: Well, go to the bathroom.
Sophie: But I want you to put a diaper on me.
Me: Sophie, you aren't going to pee in a diaper. You're a big girl. Go to the bathroom if you have to pee.
Sophie: But I want to pee in a diaper. I am getting ready to go to bed.
Me: I am not putting you to bed with a wet diaper. You don't want to sleep in pee all night.
Sophie: But me and Nicky both pee in our diapers at night. I sleep in pee every night.
Me: I am not putting a diaper on you until you go pee on the potty.
Sophie: I don't have to pee anymore.

Lucas: I am going to buy a Bionicle on the website.
Me: You have to have money to buy a Bionicle. You don't have any money.
Lucas: I DO have money. I have my allowance.
Me: You don't get an allowance.
Lucas: Well...I have the money grandma sent me.
Me: Well, you have to have a credit card to buy something on the internet. Dollar bills will not work.
Lucas: Really? Oh man...all I have is a library card.
Me: That won't work. You have to have a credit card.
Lucas: Can I borrow your credit card?

Nicky: Can you change me? I pooped.
Me: Ok. I will in just a second.
Nicky: But I stink.
Me: Yea, I know. You really stink.
Nicky: I know. My poop is the stinkiest in the world. (giggles)
Me: It probably is. You know, if you pooped on the potty, you would not have to smell your stinky poop. You could flush it away.
Nicky: That's ok. I like it.


Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!! It's always funny from the outside looking in.

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