Oscar Night

Last night, I stayed up to watch the Oscars…the entire show…until 11:00pm. This is way past my usual bedtime. However, I wanted to see Sandra Bullock win an Oscar. I really like her. I also wanted to see the first woman win for Best Director. Kathryn Bigelow was great. And I really enjoy both Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. I assumed they would do an entertaining job hosting and they did not disappoint. However, unlike past Academy Awards shows, I sadly had not seen any of the movies up for Best Picture this year. I take that back….I did see UP. It’s a Pixar film after all, so of course I had seen it. However, I have not seen any of the other movies. I still haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire...last year's winner. Right now, I have The Hurt Locker from Netflix sitting on my TV stand at home. My intention was to watch it before the Oscars, but you know how that goes…

These days, I seem to have trouble watching movies....especially movies that require any amount of focus or attention to plot details. When I was in high school, I remember getting SO VERY frustrated with my mother. I would want her to sit down and watch TV or watch a movie with me and she absolutely could not do it. She simply did not have it in her. Try as she might, she would always get up in the middle of the program and start piddling around the house. It would drive me absolutely insane! I vividly remember thinking, “What the hell is her problem?!? She can’t sit still for a 90-minute movie?!” At the time, I did not realize everything she had on her plate....or perhaps, I realized it but did not appreciate it. I could not grasp just how difficult it is to calm a frantic mind enough to sit still through a movie. Today, I understand.

There are times when I feel that I have developed ADHD. Is there such a thing as adult-onset ADHD? I have difficulty finding the stamina to sit through a movie or read a book. My mind is going constantly. I sit down to watch a movie and immediately my mind begins racing. When did I have to turn in the money for Lucas’ field trip? Could I swing a day off from work to be one of the parent chaperones? Perhaps I should try buying Pull-ups again for Nicholas…I HAVE to get that boy potty-trained. Lucas never had his yearly check-up when he turned seven...I need to schedule that. Ruanita and I both need eye exams and new glasses too...something else to schedule. One day soon I need to get to the bank and deposit our tax refund checks. Lucas needs something for show-and-tell tomorrow. I need to get to bed....Sophie will be in my bed waking me up soon. Ruanita and I need to have some alone time to reconnect....wonder if I can find a babysitter. I don't spend enough time reading to the kids...I need to do better about that. I wonder if my kids will ever eat vegetables again......on and on, round and round. Nonstop. Eventually, more often than not, I will turn off the TV or movie and get up and DO some of the things I am fretting over. I understand now why my mom was never able to sit and watch a program with me....she was a single mom with four kids. I have Ruanita and only three kids and I am still doing the same thing. Perhaps fretting is an inevitable part of motherhood...like poop and puke and poor bladder control. I hope to one day actually watch a movie again. Until then, I guess I will just have to accept that most terrifying of truths...I have turned into my mother.