Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I am considering donating my body to science. I think it may just be a biological anomaly. As anyone who knows me knows, I struggle with my weight. As a child, I was super skinny....I was all knees and elbows...with long stringy hair and pokey ears. Think Marcia Brady after a bout of chemo. In the picture to the left, I am the skinny girl in the back with the ears...the one totally rocking the sailor dress. My cousin Denny, Jr. used to make fun of me all the time....oh how I hated when he called me beanpole. I wasn't even sure what a beanpole was at the time, but I knew it wasn't good. I would go to bed and pray to God at night to gain weight. Apparently God has a wicked sense of humor. Puberty hit and I blossomed....and not in a good way. I went from an emaciated-looking little girl to a beefy, burly teenager overnight.

I joined Weight Watchers last year and lost thirty pounds. I then became rather cocky and thought I could do it on my own. I managed to gain back fifteen of those thirty pounds over the summer and fall of 2009. So...Thanksgiving week, I rejoined Weight Watchers. Yes, I am a bit of masochist. Unfortunately, I have lost very little weight since then. I have been losing, just incredibly slowly this time around. Perhaps something happens to your body between 36 and 37 years of age? Suddenly mine has shut down. When exactly does "middle age" hit? Am I there yet?

But here's where it gets bizarre. I recently had two weeks of complete and total abandon. I was PMS-ing for a week, and then just plain MS-ing for a week. I ate anything and everything in sight. Anything that wouldn't eat me first, I ate. I seriously went off the deep end. I finally dragged myself out of the pit of gluttony and went to a Weight Watchers meeting this past Saturday. As expected, I gained four pounds during those two insatiable weeks. This was just the kick in the butt I needed to get myself back on track. So I had a great weekend, food-wise. I have been getting in my water and veggies. I have been eating my fiber...choke...gag. I have been a picture perfect little diet girl. This morning, I stepped on the scale and it said I had lost five pounds since Saturday. What the hell?! There is no way that my body let go of five pounds in three days! So what could be the explanation? Perhaps I have a rare fat-eating disease that will eventually eat away every ounce of flesh on my body...Ebola maybe? Perhaps I have been abducted by aliens and the creature writing this right now is just a shell...a withering shell of a body? Perhaps I really DO have leukemia and the weight-loss portion of the disease is finally kicking in? Or maybe God finally, 25 years later, feels remorse for His cruel and malicious joke? Whatever the cause, I will take the five pound loss in three days...but I will not trust it. I imagine that I will be meeting those five pounds again...very soon.


Jennifer said...

Keep being a perfect lil diet girl, lol. Thats great! Cant wait to see how wi day goes........

Nia a.k.a. Genea said...

Way to go!!! I wish I could be a perfect diet girl :(

Shari said...

It was probably water. If you weren't eating good, you were probably eating way too much sodium and not drinking enough water to flush it out. I always lost 5-6 pounds the first week of a diet.

And WHO CARES what it was. It's 5 less pounds than Saturday. Just keep drinking the water to flush that gunk out of your body. I think water does more to help diet than people think!

Keep it up!!

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