Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Boys vs Girls

Ruanita called me at work today to tell me that Sophie and Nicholas got in a huge fight this morning. They were both completely devastated and in tears. This is very unusual. Sophie and Lucas fight. Nicholas and Lucas fight. Rarely, however, do Sophie and Nicholas fight. Must be something with the twin connection. I asked Ruanita what sort of horrible event had transpired to cause the two of them to toss aside their twin bond and brawl. Apparently, the kids were coloring in their coloring books this morning. Sophie colored a bird purple and said that it was a girl bird. Nicholas disagreed and said that the bird was a boy bird and that Sophie could not color it purple because purple was not a “boy” color. Of course, tell Sophie she can’t do something and be prepared for all hell to break loose. So I am sure the scene was not a pretty one. I am glad I was safely away at work.

It’s amazing the way in which Sophie and Nicky are obsessed with “boy” things and “girl” things. There must be something innate about it. They are being raised in a lesbian household. There is no “men’s work” and women’s work” in our house. They are being raised by two women who encourage the boys to express their sensitive sides and Sophie to embrace the tomboy within. We try to teach them that both boys AND girls can be anything they want to be. Regardless, the kids are acutely aware of the differences between boys and girls. Yesterday, we were listening to the radio on the way to pick Lucas up from school. Sugarland was on the radio. Nicholas asked me when a “boy” song was going to be on. He said that he only likes songs that boys sing. Of course, Sophie immediately chimed in to say that she only liked girl songs and that she wasn’t going to listen if a boy song came on. I just shook my head at them both. The night before, Nicholas was discussing the color purple with me (the color, not the book…he’s not THAT advanced). He told me that purple was a girl color. I dutifully explained that there is no such thing as “girl” colors and “boy” colors. I explained that boys and girls can both like purple because it is a nice color. Grapes are purple. Beautiful spring flowers are purple. Jeff from the Wiggles wears purple. Nicky seemed to consider this for a minute or two. Then he nodded in agreement. Yes, he concluded, boys can like purple. However, he informed me, girls like purple because it is pretty but boys like purple because it is cool. Try as I might, I am afraid that I am not going to win this argument. I guess you can’t fight nature. Perhaps I should just be glad that Sophie is proud to be a girl and Nicholas is proud to be a boy. That’s all a mother really wants, isn’t it? For her children to be proud of who they are?


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