Reason #3 Why My Marriage is Just Like Yours

When the wife is happy, everyone is happy.

 

When you care about someone, it is perfectly logical that you want to do things to make that person happy. When the person you love in happy, you are happy by extension. Happy by association. In my marriage, like most marriages, it is smart to keep the wife happy. When the wife is happy, everyone is happy. Unlike most marriages, however, there are two wives in my case. Therefore, we are both tasked with the job of keeping one another happy.

There are numerous little things that Ruanita and I do for one another to “keep the wife happy.” Ruanita knows that I hate stopping to put gas in my car, so somehow—mysteriously, miraculously, inexplicably—my car always seems to be filled with gas. I rarely, if ever, have to put gas in my car. This makes me extremely happy. And I don't bitch and moan about having to pump gas in the freezing ass cold, so Ruanita is happy by extension.

Ruanita loves to read magazines—the trashier, the better. Being the consummate tight-wad, Ruanita cannot bring herself to spend $4.99 on a People Magazine or Entertainment Weekly. Therefore, I make a point of buying a couple for her every time I do our grocery shopping. The magazine cover price is beautifully hidden within the larger grocery bill and seems less significant. And Ruanita gets to lay in bed and read magazines, looking all cute with her reading glasses slid down on the tip of her nose. I get to watch her adorably reading magazines over the top of her glasses while completely lacking in a need for bifocals (ummmm...yea). Therefore, I am happy by association.

Ruanita rakes our entire yard in the fall without even asking that I assist her. See...I have this bum knee. And I blister easily. And I am allergic to leaves and grass and most of the natural world. And I have a fairly lackluster appreciation for manual labor, as a general rule. As a matter of fact, I pretty much despise raking leaves. And mowing the lawn. And shoveling snow. Pretty much engaging in any lawn maintenance type of activity of any sort is anathema to my nature. So Ruanita does it. And Sophie helps her. The boys and I sit inside playing Angry Birds on our hand-held electronic devices, appreciating their labors of love safely shielded from the pollen and sunshine and other pesky elements of nature. Ruanita comes in tired and sweaty, but the wife is happy. So she is happy by association.

Ruanita likes chocolate. Actually, her love of chocolate probably rivals her love for me. I like to surprise her on occasion with homemade chocolate treats. On Sunday, I baked her homemade chocolate chip cookies—her favorite. A couple of weeks ago, I surprised her with a triple layer chocolate cake with a fudgy ganache filling and milk chocolate buttercream icing. I am not really a fan of chocolate. I can eat it occasionally, but I don't crave it. And I certainly don't love it. Ruanita, on the other hand is a HUGE fan. And I am a fan of the smile on Ruanita's face when she comes home to find freshly baked chocolate treats. So I bake her chocolate goodies as often as I can. I even wash the dishes and clean up the mess I make. Now that is love.

When the wife is happy, everyone is happy. Keeping the wife happy is one more way that my marriage is just like your marriage.