Monday, October 01, 2012

Day 8: Allergies Suck (Or Blow?)

My allergies are driving me mad. Yesterday, I spent most of the day with a pounding headache that I attributed to the wine I drank the night before. Today, however, the headache continues. I no longer believe it is wine related and now realize it is just the latest example of my body turning against itself. Or perhaps I am having a stroke. When you have a stroke, you smell weird things, right? All day at work today, I’ve smelled feet. Stinky feet. Like someone removed their shoes who most certainly should have kept them on. I am not sure if I am the only person smelling the feet. I don’t really want to go around asking if other people are inhaling the pleasant aroma of toe jam. I mean…what if I ask someone only to look down and realize as the words escape my lips that their feet are sporting nothing but socks? I would be mortified. Though that would certainly solve the problem, I suppose. And it may just ease my mind a bit to know that I am not in the throws of a full-blown stroke.

But back to my allergies. My head is pounding and my nose drips completely of its own volition. You know how, when you have a cold, you can feel the drips coming on. You can sniff and snuffle and pseudo control the excess snot long enough to get a Kleenex to your nose. With my allergies as of late, it doesn’t quite work that way. When I bend over, snot drips out of my nose completely unannounced, splashing onto whatever is below me. My keyboard. The floor. My pants. My adorable niece, Mimi. The drips appear with such strength and velocity that my feeble mind does not even have the time to register their onset. Before I even realize that I need to sniffle, Mimi is looking up at me with her big brown eyes, telepathically pleading for me to stop using her as a human tissue. I don’t mean to, Mimi. It just comes. The impromptu drips and dribbles have become automatic.

I have considered walking around with Kleenex sticking from my nostrils until the worst of allergy season has passed. That’s only another month or so. It has to be better than the unsanitary alternative. Right? I know that Ruanita and my kids would not mind. They’ve seen me do much stranger things than that. However, I am kind of leery about work. I am concerned that—even if I made a concerted effort to match the color of the tissue to my outfit of the day—my boss may frown upon me attending meetings with tissues hanging from my nose. I could always say, “Would you prefer files covered in my slimy genetic material?” Wait…that sounds like I am dripping sperm from my nose. Not the case.

Perhaps I am just going to have to deal with the headaches and dripping nose. None of the alternatives seem all that appealing. Of course, if you ask Mimi, she may have a different opinion, but I think for now I am just going to stay the course. Suffering in silence and praying for winter when all of the pollen freezes solid. Headache-y and snotty. (Hmmm….sounds like the 8th and 9th dwarves, doesn’t it?)


Anonymous said...

I had the same thing as you but today I went to the doctor as I am flying tomorrow and I was right-sinus infection. Ears clear and ready to go. Antibiotics after trying every possible alternative. Big shot of Afrin before the plane ride, allergra for the allergies and antibiotic for the infection. Might make sure it is allergies.

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