Story Starter

Every Monday, Lucas brings home his homework for the week. Stuck in between the endless math sheets and reading comprehension drudgery is his weekly story starter. As someone who enjoys writing, I think a story starter is absolutely inspired homework. Seriously. I think every kid should be required to write and write and then write some more. I won't get on my soapbox about the decline of even basic, fundamental writing skills in today's youth. I will spare you all the misery of listening to me. Suffice it to say I am glad Lucas is required to write a story a week.

I thought it might be fun to have Lucas as a guest writer on my blog. Below is the story Lucas wrote this week. The first part was provided for him and he wrote the remainder. I will not deny that I am completely and totally biased as his adoring mother, but I think this is pretty damn good for a nine-year-old. There is a moral to the story. There is humor. Suspense. Drama. I sense a Pulitzer in his future....

Bank Madness

Herb Fern is a very rich man. He has $600,000,000.47 in the bank. He doesn't like to spend a lot of money on his clothes or his car. He likes to buy bread that is a few days old. He always reads the newspaper at the library so he doesn't have to buy his own copy.

Something was about to happen that would change Herb's life forever! He was in the bank, checking on his money, when the manager of the bank walked up and... [finish the story]

...said, “You have too much money.” Herb laughed. The manager said, “ Come with me and you will not be laughing any more.”

Herb followed the manager. The manager took him to the bank vault. The manager said, “I suggest you stand back.” The manager opened the door and money shot out like a bullet from a gun. Her said, “Whoa!”

The manager spoke in a worried voice, “ About 90% of that money is yours. I'll tell you something, Herb. Let's say you stick a dime in there. The vault will explode.” Herb suddenly got a worried look on his face. The manager screamed, “Spend your money!” Herb refused.

About a week later, Herb got a letter from the bank. It said:

Dear Herb,

I do not want to sound mean, but I torched your money.

Signed,
The Manager

Herb moaned and then fainted. When Herb awoke, he was a poor man. He was not a six-time millionaire. He was a 47 cent-er. Herb thought, “Why didn't I spend my money? Just think of all of the fun I could have had.”

Herb had an idea. He went to the supermarket and spent his last 47 cents on a pack of gum. He blew bubbles all the way home. Herb was never happier.

The next day, he got a letter from the bank. It said:

Dear Herb,

Just kidding.

Signed,
The Manager.

THE END.