Friday, December 30, 2011

Defenders of All Things Decent and Chaste

It has come to my attention that many readers of this blog, including myself, are suddenly having difficulty accessing my blog at their places of employment. Somehow, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my blog has quite suddenly and inexplicably been categorized as “porn” by the software that a lot of companies employ to block such sites from their employees. I do not know why my blog has been categorized as such, as it is SO incredibly far from porn. My blog—and by extension, my life—is so non-sexual these days that I could very well be initiated into nun-hood. I think I would look good in a full-on habit. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about my stringy hair anymore. And black is quite slimming, I am told.

I can only surmise that the word “lesbian” is what is tripping the software to flag my website, as people are able to access their other friends’ blogs. Though the word “lesbian” is not in the title of my blog, it can be found dispersed among my blog entries. I realize that there are pornographic websites that employ the use of “lesbians” as sex objects. But come on…do I look like one of those so-called lesbians? No, I am a real lesbian. A true lesbian. A sit-around-in-my-sweatpants-and-eat-Ben-&-Jerry’s-while-watching-Gray’s-Anatomy sort of lesbian. A sit-in-a-cubicle-all-day-to-pay-the-mortgage kind of lesbian. A haul-the-kids-to-Girl-Scouts-and-swim-lessons-and-school-carnivals lesbian. A love-my-family-and-honor-my-parents kind of lesbian. A rule-following, in-bed-by-ten-o’clock lesbian. A struggling-to-raise-good-kids lesbian. A married-the-love-of-my-life-only-to-find-that-marriage-is-hard-work lesbian. A despising-third-grade-homework-but-doing-it-anyway lesbian. A too-often-doubting-myself-but-trying-to-feel-comfortable-in-my-own-skin lesbian. A lesbian who is also a rabidly devoted mom. And a loyal and loving partner. And a daughter and a sister and an aunt and an employee and a reader and a writer. As a matter of fact, I am a lot like all of the other lesbians I know. In other words, we are just like the rest of you out there. Trying to survive parenthood and partnerhood, and maybe have a few laughs along the way.

Definitely sounds pornographic, doesn’t it? It is heartening to know that there are companies out there protecting their employees from the likes of me and my obscenely scurrilous writings. Way to go, guys.

Keep up the good work, ye defenders of all things decent and chaste!


Madgew said...

This is so good. I hope it gets straightened out. I still get it so I am happy. Also, what is this about the nunnery-better go on more dates and rekindle that love life. :)

Kelly said...

My old work place started blocking all blogspot and Typepad hosted blogs regardless of content but we still got a warning that the content may be inappropriate...

Barb said...

My workplace occasionally blocks blogspot because it's notorious for spreading viruses. Has nothing to do with content.

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