Friday, November 25, 2011

A Decorating Project Out of Control

I am in the midst of a home redecorating project that is quickly growing out of control. We're not busting down walls or anything. We're not remodeling, which is an altogether different sort of hell. We are simply redecorating. Or rather, rearranging. As a result, my knees are swollen as I type this and I am trying to figure out how in the hell I am going to make it up the stairs to my bedroom tonight. So, what is going on? Allow me to explain.

As you know, we are getting new windows throughout our entire house. We are extremely excited. Considering that we have not washed our windows once in the five years we have lived in this house, we are looking forward to windows that actually let sunlight into our home. In our anticipation of the new windows and the impending sunlight, we have begun to think of ways we can “pretty” our house up a bit. Immediately we decided we need new window treatments in our kitchen bay window. Being odd-sized windows, we're going to have to go with custom window treatments. That was the first project we decided had to be done. Nothing major. We would spend a little money, but certainly nothing outrageous.

A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned to Ruanita that we should consider moving our basement family room furniture upstairs. The couch and chair in our living room had seen better days. With a cat and now a dog climbing all over them, they were beginning to look a bit shabby. The couch and chair in the downstairs family room are rarely used. They are more comfortable and in better shape. Logic would dictate that we should move them into our living room and put the rattier furniture in the basement. Ruanita immediately dismissed the idea as insane. Moving the furniture was a challenge she simply wasn't up to facing. Her back ached at the mere mention of her. Her knees twitched and her shoulders spasmed. I dropped the subject and did not mention it again. Unfortunately, Ruanita did not forget it so easily. Despite her protests, a seed had been planted.

Yesterday, rather out of the blue, Ruanita began talking about moving the furniture again. Seriously? I thought that was a stupid idea. Eventually, after some wrangling, we decided that we would attempt to move the furniture today.

Our basement stairs are off of our kitchen. It is a ninety degree angle from our kitchen to our stairs. There was no way a couch, or a chair for that matter, would make that angle to go into the basement. The only way we would be able to do it would be to take the furniture out the front door, around the house to the back yard, through the back door, and straight down the basement steps.

Before we even began, as we were laboring to unscrew the feet from the living room couch, I declared that I was done. Ruanita was yelling already. I was tense. We were bickering before we even began. After a small blow-up on my part, we decided to make the move. Using all of the high school physics we could recall, we managed to angle the first couch out of the front door and around the house. Let the dog in. Let the dog out. Down the stairs was utter and complete hell, but we managed. We crashed onto the floor. Only three more large pieces of furniture to lug up and down stairs. As I was screwing the legs back on the couch, I smelled a foul odor. Dog poop. I had stepped right in it. I changed my shoes and tossed the stinky ones out the back door. We then repeated the process three more times. Once again, I stepped in dog poop and tossed my second pair of shoes out the back door. We grumbled at one another. We yelled at the kids. It was pure and utter hell. But we did it.

Tonight, as I sat with ice packs on my knees, I looked at our new living room. The furniture looks nice upstairs. It is plain brown, so we need to buy some new colorful pillows. Cha-ching. And we really need a nice new throw or blanket of some sort to drape on it. Cha-ching. The couch, though a bit wider, is a more modern style with a boxy shape and tiny arms. The old couch had huge, overstuffed, steroidal arms. With its tiny arms and boxy shape, the new couch takes up much less space in our living room despite providing more seating area. As a result, we have a an empty corner. So whatever shall we do? Ruanita thinks we need to buy a new chair. Cha-ching. Looking at chairs online and in catalogs, we've decided maybe a chaise lounge would be nice. Cha-ching. Of course, if we buy chaise lounge, I want one of those nice cable-knit throws. You know? The blankets that look like cable-knit sweaters that a girl could get lost in. Cha-ching. We also will need some new artwork to hang above the chaise. Cha-ching. And perhaps a new floor lamp. Cha-ching.
See what I mean? A small redecorating idea is quickly growing out of control. But you know what?

Our living room is going to look fabulous by the time we are done.


Madgew said...

I love home projects. I love to rearrange. There are so many less expensive stores for stuff. Do you have Homegoods/TJMaxx and More or a Big Lots or Ross shop for less? Amazing pillows and throws and anything else you need. I love to find "treasures" and just change it up from time to time. I do get my windows and screens washed professionally every year. I also ask neighbors sons to help with the furniture for a few bucks. No longer move stuff myself anymore. But then again you are much younger.

Jessica said...

Ah the joys of home ownership... Don't worry, console yourself with the fact that all that must cost less than a master bathroom remodel. ;)

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