Friday, March 04, 2011


I've not been a very good blogger lately. I admit to suffering from a bit of writer's block. Yet again, I am having trouble coming up with topics or events worthy of writing about. My life is boring lately. Maybe that's a good thing. I definitely prefer tedium to constant drama. So I have just been hanging out. Enjoying the nothingness that is happening in my everyday life. However, I feel guilty not writing in my blog. Despite having nothing to write about, I feel like I need to regale you with amusing anecdotes and my usual woman-on-the-edge stories. goes. My attempt at updating you on the sheer tedium that is my life lately. Hold onto your seats. This could get a little crazy.

I rejoined Weight Watchers. Before you roll your eyes and groan, please note that this is only the two hundred and thirty-sixth time I have joined Weight Watchers. I joined last Saturday and managed to stay on program until Wednesday. Not exactly a personal best. So today, am trying to climb back on the wagon, as it were. I don't feel entirely optimistic.

In fourteen days, I am heading to Kentucky with Ruanita and the kids. We've decided that the kids did so well on the drive last year that we are going to tempt fate and drive to Kentucky again this year. Thirteen hours in a car with an eight-year-old and two four-year-olds. Again, we plan on driving straight through during the night in the hope that the kids will sleep most of the way. We will also be saying a few silent prayers that the mommas will be able to stay awake the entire way. That's a hefty request since my eyes begin to droop the minute the sun goes down these days. My days of pulling all-nighters are far behind me. My thirty-eight-year-old body needs its sleep.

On a related note, I am wondering if it is immoral to be more excited about Grippo's barbecue potato chips than I am about any other part of my trip to Kentucky? Yes, I want to see my brother and sister-in-law. And my aunts, uncles, and beloved cousins. Yes, I adore my family. But if I had to choose between them and a bag of those unnaturally orange little morsels of joy, it would be a tough decision. You can't buy Grippo's potato chips in Minnesota, so I get them once a year when I head to Kentucky. Maybe the fact that my nighttime dreams are filled with dancing orange potato chips could explain my lack of Weight Watchers success. Perhaps?

Speaking of dreams, I have been experiencing a disturbing phenomenon lately during the night. For about a week now, I have begun waking in the middle of the night covered in sweat. I am talking soaked from top to bottom. I usually sleep in a t-shirt and light cotton pajamas bottoms. I am always cold when I climb into bed at night. Last night, I woke up about 2:00am and my pants were stuck to my legs, which were soaking wet. And my shirts was clinging to my chest--also covered in sweat. What the hell?! I am not sick. Is it possible that at the nubile, young age of thirty-eight I could be experiencing the beginning stages of menopause? What do they call that...perimenopause? Is that even possible? I think I am way to young for that. I am not even forty yet! If this is a sign of things to come, I would like to turn in my chick card. I am no longer interested in being a woman, thank you very much.

Tomorrow night, we are having our monthly Bunco party at my house. It's quite sad, but Bunco has become the highlight of my month. Yes, a game historically played my decrepit old housewives is my go-to fun activity of choice now. Before you start hurling age-related insults my way, please note that I play Bunco with a really fun group of women. We have a rowdy good time. There is beer and wine and fabulous prizes involved. What's not to love?

You may have noticed that I haven't written any long, whiny complaints about my children lately. Weird. For the most part, my children are doing pretty well. They are slowly inching past the phase where they drive me utterly mad. We are entering a new phase in our relationship where I am actually enjoying their company. What's up with that?! I anticipate it will be short-lived, however. There's a sweet spot that a child hits around four years of age when they have yet to develop snarky little attitudes. They are past the tantrum phase, for the most part, and become these utterly enjoyable, inquisitive, funny little creatures. My twins are in that phase right now. I know it will not last long, however, because kindergarten is right around the corner. School somehow managed to suck the pleasantness right out of Lucas. As soon as he started school, he developed a smart mouth, a snarky little attitude, and the general belief that I am a raving idiot. So, for the time being, I am going to enjoy the upcoming spring and summer with Sophie and Nicholas. Right now, they think I am the queen of the world. Come autumn, I suspect I will be quickly and unceremoniously dethroned.

Well, that's it for today, folks. That is my tedious life in a nutshell. I promise to try harder next time to come up with a topic actually worthy of a long-winded blog post.



Madgew said...

If the night sweats continue you might want to get blood tests to see why you are getting them. It can be that you are sick still or have something going on. Hopefully, you were just too hot.

Leenata said...

Your writing makes even your tedium sound fun

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