Friday, December 17, 2010

Santa Misspeaks

I've created a monster. Actually, my daughter is a monster of her own accord. I am simply encouraging her monstrous ways. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, my children wrote letters to Santa. As I did last year, I (AKA Santa) wrote back to them. I bought some pretty Christmas paper with glittery Santa embellishments and wrote letters from Santa to my kids, my nephews, and a friend's kids. I had fun doing it, and the kids were extremely excited to get letters addressed to them from the North Pole.

In Sophie's letter, Santa made a reference to children getting to bed on time so that he could come visit. Specifically, Santa asked Sophie to help make sure her brothers got to bed on time because they tend to have issues in that area. Santa then wrote, and I quote, "I know I can count of the star of my Nice List to help me out!" Big mistake. BIG mistake.

Lucas immediately piped in to say that he most certainly must be second on Santa's Nice List, though he couldn't understand why Sophie would be the "star." Nicholas, in typical Nicholas fashion, stared blankly into space for a few seconds until the realization hit him. If Sophie was first on the list and Lucas was second on the list, the best he could aspire to was third place. Needless to say, he was NOT happy with third place. I tried to assure them that they were all on Santa's Nice List and that I was certain Santa was equally proud of all three of them.

As I was giving Sophie a bath that night, and several times since then, Sophie proudly announced that she is going to get more presents from Santa than her brothers. Her reasoning? Because she is the "star" of Santa's Nice List, of course. And a star most certainly will have a multitude of gifts bestowed upon her, right? In addition to receiving more gifts, a star has certain prerogatives granted to her. A star is allowed to boss every around because a star, being the most well-behaved child in the world, most certainly knows how it is best for others to act. A star is allowed to have markers in her bed at night, something strictly prohibited in my house since the unfortunate Marker Debacle of 2009, because a star is most certainly mature enough to handle that responsibility. A star should be allowed to do what she wants when she wants. If Santa can see the exceptional "star" qualities Sophie possesses, shouldn't we all bow to Her Greatness and genuflect before Her Holiness?

What the hell have I done??


Jessica said...

It might be time for a second letter from Santa "I've noticed your behavior degrading in the days before Christmas..." yes, I am not above fear as a motivator. ;)

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