Dial-a-Prayer

Not once this morning, but twice, I had someone from Dial-a-Prayer call me at work asking if they could pray for me. Seriously? There are people who just call random numbers asking if they can pray for whoever answers the phone? I had no idea this phenomenon existed. Are there not enough needy people in the world to pray for that people feel the need to call people at their places of employment to ask if they need prayers? Needless to say, I was a bit caught off guard.

The first person who called me was a sweet-sounding elderly man, obviously a retiree with time on his hands and faith enough to pray for anyone and everyone who answers the phone. I felt a twinge of guilt telling him no. So I somehow found myself responding with "sure" when he softy said, "This is Dial-a-Prayer. Can I pray for you?" Besides, I probably need all the help I can get, right? He seemed sincere enough. He quickly recited a two-sentence prayer and then asked me if I wanted to go to heaven. "Ummm....sure. Why not?" He said another quick prayer, then said his goodbyes and hung up. Altogether the oddest telephone call I have ever received.

As if that were not weird enough, I got a second call about 15 minutes later. Perhaps someone is trying to tell me something? The man on the other end of the phone the second time sounded much younger. Rather than the sweet, elderly man I envisioned with the first call, this man was young and sounded rather condescending. Who knew it was possible to sound smug uttering a single phrase? But this guy somehow managed.

I figured since the older gentleman had just prayed for me fifteen minutes earlier, I should not be greedy. There are plenty of lost souls, sitting in cubicles all over this great country, telephones right in front of them, in need of prayers. It would be selfish of me to take up more than my allotted minute of God's precious time, right? And there was no way in hell I was telling him that he had hit the evangelical crusader motherload...a lesbian. He might just have started speaking in tongues. I suspect that he might have entered into some sort of zealous fit of ecstacy. Then I'd never get him off my phone.

So...I hung up on him. It was the unselfish thing to do, after all.