Friday, July 23, 2010

Murder in the morning.....

I am afraid that I may be committing murder today. I hate to do it right before a family camping weekend, but I am afraid I have no choice. One of my children is not going to survive this day.

I woke up this morning, quite suddenly, and peeked at my alarm clock. It said 5:32. I was surprised that my alarm hadn't gone off since it was set for 5:30. When I put my glasses on and took a closer look, I realized that my alarm setting had been changed to 6:30. I thought that was odd, but assumed I had inadvertently hit it when I was turning the alarm clock on last night. I laid there as long as I possibly could, sucking every last second of relaxation out of the morning, before finally getting up to get dressed for work. I left my house at 6:30am, as I do every morning. I was halfway to work before I glanced at the clock in my car. It said 5:35am. Hmmm...that's weird. I wasn't wearing a watch, so I rummaged through my bag until I found my cell phone. The cell phone also said 5:35am. Dammit to hell! One of those little urchins living in my house had messed with my alarm clock! I had an hour and a half before I had to be at work. I first headed back home. I crept upstairs and explained to a half-sleeping Ruanita what had happened. Being that she was half-asleep, she did not care. I was going to fix some breakfast, however, everyone in my house was sound asleep and I didn't want to wake the kids up by piddling around the house at 5:30 in the morning. So I left again. I went to McDonalds and got some breakfast....yes, breakfast of champions. I wasn't sure what to do with myself for an hour and a 5:30 in the morning. My favorite go-to time-killer....Target....was not yet open. I didn't have my laptop with me or anything to read, so I didn't really want to go sit at a coffee shop for an hour and a half. Where's a girl to go at 5:30 in the morning? I decided to head to Uptown and drive around Lake Harriet and Lake Calhoun. There's something soothing about the lakes. So I drove around both lakes, amazed at the number of people out jogging, riding bikes, and roller blading at 5:30 in the morning. Who are these sick people?! Yes...they will probably live longer than me. And yes...they are probably boosting their metabolism and will have more energy throughout the day than I will. And yes...they are probably happier, floating all zen-like in a sea of endorphins, than I am right now, sucking down my coffee with my eyelids drooping. But come on....rollerblading at 5:30 in the morning?! That's just sick and wrong.

So apparently I've been up since 4:30 this morning. Nice. At least I only have to work until 10:00am today. That leaves me plenty of time to murder the offending child before heading to the Wisconsin woods (perhaps a good to place to dump the body?) for a weekend of fun and frivolity. If I can stay awake that long...............


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