I would like to take the opportunity on this, the eve of GLBT Pride weekend, to wish all of my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered family members and friends a very happy Pride! This morning, as I think about Pride and everything it stands for, I am feeling extremely lucky. I have a partner who loves me. Three wonderful, albeit rambunctious, children. I am lucky enough to live in a city where being a lesbian is pretty much a non-issue. At this point in my life, I am out to every single person who knows me. There is not a person in my life who is not aware that I am gay. I have been able to get to this place in my life because of the love and support of a handful of extremely important people. On this Pride weekend, I would like to thank those special straight allies who have shown nothing but pride in me through the years. Those people who are often overlooked on Pride weekend, but whose devotion has allowed me to navigate this world with a semblance of self-esteem and honesty.
Mom—We had our moments as I was growing up, but today, I can honestly say you are my hero. You managed to raise four small children on your own after the devastating blow of losing your husband and the love of your life at such a tragically young age. Once I became a mother myself, I realized the true weight of the load you carried. You managed to somehow survive to raise us to adulthood, only to be told that two of your four children are gay. Did that faze you in the least little bit? No. You may have had your reservations….your worries for us and about us….but never once did you let on to us that you felt anything but utter pride and appreciation for us. You welcomed Ruanita and Claudia into our family with open arms. You are as devoted to Lucas and Sully as you are to your three biological grandchildren and have never treated them (or any of us) as “less-than.” For everything you are and everything you have allowed me to become, I would like to thank you on this Pride weekend. And by the way, since 50% of your children are gay, you are above the national average. You always knew you were above average, right?
My siblings—Of course, I expected the support of my sister Amy, who is also a lesbian. She was the first person I ever told. I will forever look back fondly (because it was pretty damn hysterical) on the day she announced to me “I have a secret” only to hear me respond with “I have the same secret.” Everyone has secrets, right Amy? ;) Thank you for making my coming out process a little bit easier. Everything is easier when you have company. As I said, I expected Amy’s support and she did not disappoint. However, I am thrilled on a daily basis by how easily my other sister Jennifer and my brother Matt have incorporated my partner and our children into their lives. My sister Jennifer is my rock. She is the person I can always count on. She is there is a moment’s notice when I need a babysitter. She is content to sit at my house all day doing nothing, while the kids run and scream around her. She is the person I can drag to Chuck E Cheese, the mall, and McDonalds. She is the one person in the world (aside from Ruanita) who I can honestly say adores my children almost as much as I do. Thank you Jennifer for being my go-to person for all things unpleasant and monotonous. :) My brother, Matt, is the epitome of manliness. An ex-Marine who served in Iraq and is now a police officer. Yet, despite being surrounded on a daily basis by all things “macho”, he has never once wavered in his complete acceptance of Ruanita, the kids, and I. Being raised the token Y chromosome in an all-female household, he was probably looking forward to the day his sisters would marry and bring a little more male presence into the family. Despite being delivered a crashing blow in the brother-in-law department, he has completely embraced all of the women in the family. He is true man in all regards…someone I am happy to have my boys worship. I know I can count on him for anything and everything. My kids love their “Unca” Matt unconditionally. As do I.
To my grandma—I miss you every day. You are the person in this world who taught me the most about unconditional love. I don’t remember actually ever telling you I was gay, but you knew. Just like you always knew everything that was going on with every member of the family. Some people called it “getting in everyone’s business.” I, however, preferred to think of it as a matriarch’s unconditional devotion. Your love was blind to all of our faults…all of our petty ugliness. It was blind to color, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. Your love was unconditional. You welcomed Ruanita just as you did all of the other poor misguided souls who married into our rowdy clan. You loved nothing better than being surrounded by all of your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. You taught us all that family is the center of life. That message was definitely heard loud and clear. Thank you for loving with complete abandon and for being the creator of the family I adore to this day.
To my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins)—Your acceptance probably means the most to me…simply because you did not HAVE to accept me. I don’t see you all on a daily basis. There is 700 miles separating me from most of you. You could very easily have rejected me and it would have probably made very little difference in your day-to-day life. We come from a large Southern, Catholic family. You were all raised in a time and a place and an environment that taught you that it was wrong to be gay. However, you looked beyond that and saw me…just plain old Shannon. The dorky girl you watched grow up. Perhaps it was grandma’s voice in your ear whispering that family comes first above all else? Perhaps it was seeing my kids playing happily with the "Kentucky cousins" they love? Whatever it was, you accepted me without a moment’s hesitation. You made me feel appreciated and loved and part of something larger than myself. For that, I will adore you guys until the day I die!
Happy Pride to my family who makes me SO very proud! This is your weekend as much as it is mine.
Mom—We had our moments as I was growing up, but today, I can honestly say you are my hero. You managed to raise four small children on your own after the devastating blow of losing your husband and the love of your life at such a tragically young age. Once I became a mother myself, I realized the true weight of the load you carried. You managed to somehow survive to raise us to adulthood, only to be told that two of your four children are gay. Did that faze you in the least little bit? No. You may have had your reservations….your worries for us and about us….but never once did you let on to us that you felt anything but utter pride and appreciation for us. You welcomed Ruanita and Claudia into our family with open arms. You are as devoted to Lucas and Sully as you are to your three biological grandchildren and have never treated them (or any of us) as “less-than.” For everything you are and everything you have allowed me to become, I would like to thank you on this Pride weekend. And by the way, since 50% of your children are gay, you are above the national average. You always knew you were above average, right?
My siblings—Of course, I expected the support of my sister Amy, who is also a lesbian. She was the first person I ever told. I will forever look back fondly (because it was pretty damn hysterical) on the day she announced to me “I have a secret” only to hear me respond with “I have the same secret.” Everyone has secrets, right Amy? ;) Thank you for making my coming out process a little bit easier. Everything is easier when you have company. As I said, I expected Amy’s support and she did not disappoint. However, I am thrilled on a daily basis by how easily my other sister Jennifer and my brother Matt have incorporated my partner and our children into their lives. My sister Jennifer is my rock. She is the person I can always count on. She is there is a moment’s notice when I need a babysitter. She is content to sit at my house all day doing nothing, while the kids run and scream around her. She is the person I can drag to Chuck E Cheese, the mall, and McDonalds. She is the one person in the world (aside from Ruanita) who I can honestly say adores my children almost as much as I do. Thank you Jennifer for being my go-to person for all things unpleasant and monotonous. :) My brother, Matt, is the epitome of manliness. An ex-Marine who served in Iraq and is now a police officer. Yet, despite being surrounded on a daily basis by all things “macho”, he has never once wavered in his complete acceptance of Ruanita, the kids, and I. Being raised the token Y chromosome in an all-female household, he was probably looking forward to the day his sisters would marry and bring a little more male presence into the family. Despite being delivered a crashing blow in the brother-in-law department, he has completely embraced all of the women in the family. He is true man in all regards…someone I am happy to have my boys worship. I know I can count on him for anything and everything. My kids love their “Unca” Matt unconditionally. As do I.
To my grandma—I miss you every day. You are the person in this world who taught me the most about unconditional love. I don’t remember actually ever telling you I was gay, but you knew. Just like you always knew everything that was going on with every member of the family. Some people called it “getting in everyone’s business.” I, however, preferred to think of it as a matriarch’s unconditional devotion. Your love was blind to all of our faults…all of our petty ugliness. It was blind to color, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. Your love was unconditional. You welcomed Ruanita just as you did all of the other poor misguided souls who married into our rowdy clan. You loved nothing better than being surrounded by all of your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. You taught us all that family is the center of life. That message was definitely heard loud and clear. Thank you for loving with complete abandon and for being the creator of the family I adore to this day.
To my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins)—Your acceptance probably means the most to me…simply because you did not HAVE to accept me. I don’t see you all on a daily basis. There is 700 miles separating me from most of you. You could very easily have rejected me and it would have probably made very little difference in your day-to-day life. We come from a large Southern, Catholic family. You were all raised in a time and a place and an environment that taught you that it was wrong to be gay. However, you looked beyond that and saw me…just plain old Shannon. The dorky girl you watched grow up. Perhaps it was grandma’s voice in your ear whispering that family comes first above all else? Perhaps it was seeing my kids playing happily with the "Kentucky cousins" they love? Whatever it was, you accepted me without a moment’s hesitation. You made me feel appreciated and loved and part of something larger than myself. For that, I will adore you guys until the day I die!
Happy Pride to my family who makes me SO very proud! This is your weekend as much as it is mine.
1 comments:
Shannon and the rest of the Ralph family, you are very lucky to have such loving, accepting family members. Not everyone in the GLBT community is that fortunate. Mom Shirley, thank you so much for opening your arms to another "adopted daughter" my partner Jeanne! It means the world. We love the Ralph family! See you later today!
~Mariah
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