Old-School Treats

Yesterday, I was exhausted when I got home from work. I spent most of the afternoon laying on the couch like a beached whale...with Sophie and Nicky laying on top of me, of course. Around 6:00pm, my kids' cries of hunger became more than my exhausted psyche could listen to a moment longer, so I pried myself from the couch and went into the kitchen to decide what I would make for dinner. This is a grocery weekend, so the cupboard was a bit bare, to say the least. I got the bright idea to have popcorn and ice cream for dinner. Popcorn is a vegetable, right? And ice cream...that falls under the dairy category? And it was chocolate...isn't chocolate good for your heart? I could easily justify that it was a well-rounded healthy meal. And...to make matters even better...popcorn is synonymous with movies. So if I put on a movie and popped some popcorn, perhaps...just maybe...I could re-assume my drooling position on the couch. I announced my plans for dinner and the kids were thrilled. Of course, AFTER I announced my plans, I realized that we only had one bag of microwave popcorn left. One bag would certainly not feed my ravenous brood. In the back of a cabinet....under the sugar and next to the almond bark left over from Christmas candy-making...I found half a bag of popcorn kernels. I ignored the fact that I had not popped actual popcorn kernels since before the twins were born. So that popcorn had to be at least four years old. But popcorn doesn't go bad, right? Hmmm...my kids had never popped popcorn old-school style. Perhaps it was time they discovered the gastronomic bliss of REAL popcorn. I explained to their amazement that I was going to pop the popcorn on the stovetop. They were more than a little incredulous. Sophie and Nicholas immediately pulled a kitchen chair over to the stove to watch. Eventually, all three kids were standing hip to hip on that small chair peering excitedly into the pan. When the popcorn did not start popping immediately, Lucas lost interest and went into the living room to get the movie ready. Sophie and Nicholas, however, waited it out and the first kernel that popped was met with squeals of delight. However, when the popcorn eventually lifted the lid off the pan, Sophie and Nicky both screamed and jumped down from the chair. Apparently, they thought the popcorn was going to attack them. I poured the popcorn into a bowl, salted it heartily, and drizzled it with real melted sweat cream butter. I dished the popcorn out into individual bowls and the kids took their places on a blanket on the living room floor for our lazy-night-popcorn-and-movie-indoor-picnic. Lucas immediately extolled the virtues of the old-school popcorn. He loved it! Nicholas said it was OK, but he was more interested in the ice cream that would follow. Sophie was not at all impressed with the popcorn. She complained that she did not like it because it did not have butter on it, though she had watched with her own eyes while I drizzled it with butter. I assured her that their was, indeed, quite a bit of butter on the popcorn. She refused to believe me and announced loudly that there was NOT butter on it because she did not have a single yellow piece of popcorn in her bowl. Where was the yellow popcorn? I began to explain that real butter does not turn popcorn bright yellow. Real butter is not powdered. Real butter makes your hands just greasy enough that you have the added advantage of licking all of that salty succulent sweetness off your fingertips after eating popcorn with real butter. Sophie, however, was not impressed. Unfortunately, she was just not going to be a fan of old-school popcorn. Such a travesty. At least Lucas enjoyed my stroll down memory lane. I am seriously considering boycotting microwave popcorn. I think real popcorn with real butter is the only way to go.