Wednesday, March 31, 2010

And so it begins...

Lucas got his very first birthday party invitation in the mail this week. His little buddy Colin from school is having a party at a big indoor playground/climbing park next weekend. Lucas was overjoyed and thought it was "super cool." I cringed. Of course I want Lucas to have friends and be invited to parties. However, I would like to somehow avoid being involved in any that too much to ask?

Perhaps it is my introverted nature resurfacing, but the thought of sitting around with a bunch of parents that I do not know making small-talk while the kids play just makes me want to run and hide. Maybe I'm socially inept...or just plain antisocial? I don't know. Yes...I want Lucas to go to the party. Yes...I want Lucas to be popular in school and have friends. Yes...I realize it is important to know the parents of Lucas' friends. Yes...I could use a few more friends with kids Lucas' age. All of that said, I can't get past the instantaneous terror I feel at the thought of walking into a room full of people I do not know. I've gotten better through the years. I am more outgoing now than I've ever been. However, my first instinct...which I have to fight with every fiber of my to avoid those social situations completely. I can make small-talk. I can make friends. I am completely capable of having a good time with people I've just met. It just doesn't come second nature to me like it does for some people. I have to consciously work at it. Perhaps I need therapy? It would probably be good for me to face my bashful through my social anxiety. Perhaps find a group therapy program for poor socially awkward souls like me. Then again, I am 37 years old and I've survived to this point...why mess with it?

So I am making Ruanita take him to the party.


Craig said...

If you find a solution for that tendency, let me know cuz I've got it too...!

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